Baby A turns One.

Once upon a time J and i were in the supermarket getting our groceries for the week and i panicked when he told me his ex was in the next aisle. This was around the time when his ex didn't know that he was dating someone new. We kept our relationship under wraps for some time - we had our valid reasons. Maybe she had an idea but wasn't sure. I don't know, it's not a topic i want to talk about with her anyhow. And with all the jealousy stories that i had heard whilst they were together and knowing how much they fought, i didn't feel like being the cause of another argument.

So my only reaction was to run to the end of the aisle.

I think i hid somewhere in the vegetable section. Not because i thought i could protect myself with cabbage or cucumbers but it was the closest i could get to and the most crowded. And if it meant ducking down to get a closer look at the floor to avoid eye contact, i was willing to scoop down to any level.

I also remember a time before that when J and i would avoid that particular supermarket all together in fear that maybe her neighbor will see him with me. Her neighbor apparently likes to talk a lot, so the last thing we wanted was another confrontation in case the neighbor decided to inform the ex that she saw J with some random Asian girl.

So for those few months we went to other supermarkets, even though they were more expensive. Why? To save the peace and so he could keep seeing Little L without a fight. It was a rather fragile time for everyone.

I wouldn't be lying if i said, i feared for my own safety.

[Fast forward to now...]

I just got off Skype after an hour. And guess who i just spoke with? J's ex.

Today is Baby A's 1st birthday. J has to work late tonight and so he told me to just jump on Skype and wish the little man.

"But you're not going to be at home. Isn't it better just to Skype with them tomorrow when you're around?"

"It's his birthday today, you have to."

"Okay fine. I'll put Skype on."

So i get a SMS from her 2 hours later saying she'll be back home around 7 my time and that we'll Skype later. [She now has my mobile number because when we were in Ireland J ran out of credit, so i used my phone to send her a message.]

Uh oh. I am now contactable, there's no turning back.


So anyway i get to sing happy birthday to him and we all clap together. I doubt he understands the concept of Skype as he was more interested in the headset and everything else around him. But she shows me what they bought him for his birthday - little cars that can roll down a ramp and he absolutely loves it!


And for such a small thing, he's got quite a grip and at the age where he wants to put everything in his mouth. I manage to get a screen shot of him as he tries to throw the ball but instead gets distracted by the head set that is sitting on the bed. Seriously, he's so cute and it wouldn't surprise me that when he grows up he'll be a heart breaker.


So i end up talking to the ex for most of the time. I'm not sure what we chat about but it was probably about the weather, the kids, upcoming holidays and our time in Ireland. In fact, 23 minutes into our conversation i think we were actually laughing.

About what? I'm not sure. Hard to believe that J and her used to argue so violently. But that's between him and her. I guess as long as we can all be grown ups and remind ourselves it's all for the kids, we should be alright.

I still can't believe i'm actually talking to his ex.

Later i spent a couple of minutes chatting with Little L, as i think she felt left out that i called just to chat with the mother and to wish Baby A. We play some random games to keep her entertained as i notice she's struggling to keep the conversation in English going.

I think we're all still trying to get used to the idea that we're all on talking terms. More importantly trying to build on some kind of relationship.