My Tattooed Asian Beauty

I received a phone call not too long ago. Surprised at the name that was being displayed, since i rarely receive calls from that side of the world. I answered it. It was her.

It was clear from the sound of her voice that she had been drinking or indulged in some kind of substance. She was drunk. She called to say that she missed me and that one year on, she still talks about me to her friends. How she would have given up everything for me. That despite her collection of one-night stands... i had broken her heart. When she's had one too many alcoholic beverages, she likes to remind those that we're with, that it was ME that broke her heart. But how how could i have broken her heart, if i never had it to begin with? An unspoken connection.

Although comfortable with her current boyfriend, she calls me to rant and rave about how much she STILL cares for me. Doesn't care what he thinks... and you know what i believe her.

I remember meeting her about 3 years back sometime. We were at Sangria and we had 'a moment'. There she was... this visibly tattooed Asian beauty with long black hair buying a bottle of Vodka and ordering Cranberry juice. Very thin with a witty sense of humour. We had mutual friends and were introduced. Attractive, to say the least and it was obvious she looked like she could get any guy to sleep with her with a bat of an eye lid. But like a freak of nature we were drawn towards each other. She oozed confidance and her 'don't-give-a-shit' attitude made her even more interesting. We never got seriously physical except for the occasional get together rendez-vous.

Then in 2004 i had gone to her side of the world for a business trip and stayed at her apartment in the middle of the city. Intoxicated nights and days was what it was all about, our discussions never involved 'us'. I was just a friend to her and vice versa. We talk about it now and we both wish we took advantage of our 'alone' times together.

Then a year ago, i remember she called to say she had broken up with her girlfriend and had enough... she wanted to be "straight". So that was that. The relationship between us had remained as friends. And what i thought was just a substance and alcohol infused bond on her side, eventually tapered down and from what i have seen, is much better.

I am grounded majority of the time and to some point in control but each time i see or speak with her, i surrender. Its as though the master and servant roles have suddenly switched. Call it a weakness but she invades my thoughts and thoughts of, "what if" enters my mind. A fantasy that once swam in my subconscious thoughts but evidently has now invaded my waking hours.

A simple infatuation with the unknown still lingers.

We both live different lives and have gone our own ways. She's there and i'm here. She comes back in 3 weeks for a holiday, for how long i don't know. I haven't seen her in nearly a year or has it been less?

I tell her that i'll see her when she comes back and we'll talk things through. It's best that we keep to the male specimens but when we think of each other or talk, it's like...

It's all numbers

I can't believe i actually went a day without describing my world to the public. My life does not evolve around blogging... eheheh.

All i know is i spent a few solid hours trying to sort out the payment for the presales last night and as mentioned in a previous post, i am not a whizz in maths. So what would probably take a lay man a few minutes to calculate, i would need twice as much time, if not more to punch the numbers in... NO, i know where the digits are, it's just calculating it all!

It's probably a good thing that i don't work at a bank or as an accountant, cause i'd definitely be jobless. Thank god for calculators, that's all i can say.

Talking about banks, i've had a Maybank account since 1996 and all this while i've managed to hold on to that passbook UNTIL i made the move to my new apartment. And for the love of all good things, i have no idea where the fuck i put the passbook and can only activate my account if i have it. I knew exactly where i hid it in all the other locations i've moved to... except NOW. I swear, my memory has gone down the drain.

So after being charged RM15 for a replacement. I now have a spankin' new passbook savings booklet and a new pin code. I'm hoping i'll find it a new home somewhere nestled amongst items that have no relation with one another. I've got all sorts of items tucked here and there but somehow i manage to remember where i've hid them all. But should anyone come and tidy it all... i'd be totally fucked.

So now, i'm wasting a bit of time at the office. Waiting til 8.30pm so i can meet up with the other HS promoters... where i can give a bit of a motivational speech and congratulate them for all their efforts [insert: golf claps]. We've all been so slack and have been heaps busy with our day jobs to actually sit down with ALL the new juniors to suss out any issues or suggestions.

So the time is now.

Anyway, another HS is coming up 01 July 2006... you're probably thinking... "again???" That's right, HS is back this time bringing X-Statik from Australia. In case you're too lazy to click on the link in the CHECK OUT... section, here's the e-flyer again.

And if you're interested to go to this event... i just need you to SMS me your name and contact number OR you can email me the list of people. The event allows 19 and above clubbers. Unfortunately, you can't wear 3/4 shorts.

Presale bookings end at noon on saturday 01 July 2006. Please arrive at Ruums before 11.30pm to get presale entry admission. If you wanna check out Ruums... [visit here].

OoOOooer... imma go have [A] beer with my colleague, hey man, she asked whether i wanted to... BUT OF COURSE. YAY for happy hour!

Run Chrissie... Run!

After finally forcing myself to pass out, i finally entered la la land but was soon rudely awakened by a number of irritating alarms. Somehow i managed to switch on the water heater and creeped back into bed to pass out again.

I had slipped back into my subconsious and was dreaming that i was running.

Yes, like some marathon jogger trying to get from point A to B... [let me add i don't run and i'm not into sports]. In my dream the weather was just perfect, it was sunny yet not blinding which meant i could be outdoors without my sunnies. However, i'll tell you what was odd, there were all these muscle head fit instructors walking about with their pecks bulging like nobody's business! It was borderline of obscene.

[Don't ask, i have no idea why. I haven't seen the inside of a gym in months]... i should really get my arse to the gym and bring out the toneage.

Back to the marathon: it wasn't as if i was running from anyone, i was jogging with someone... not sure with whom but i remember focusing on all these fit individuals slathered with heavy duty tanning cream which only emphasised their tone and Hulk Hogan look-alike physiques... ewww. I fancy blokes with a fit body and muscles but not that hardcore!

Next thing i know, it's 10:15am and i've been woken up by an irritating sound screaming from my mobile. It was soft cock saying he had sent over BA's profiles and asking whether i was at work yet... and whether i could fix it up. My answer to that was... "i just woke up and i was running" ... uhhh ok Chris... ahhaha.

So yea, i get slightly disorientated when i get thrown out of my subconscious. But for split second i was certain i was running up a hill and dodging branches! I live in 2 worlds... it's fantastic. Eventually got to work, slightly late but feeling like death had trampled all over my eyeballs. Fixed up the boys' profile and emailed it to the JUICE guy... done.

Then trotted off to have lunch with my boss and my writer at some Japanese restaurant... yum! By the time we were done it was scorching hot and i scurried along to the Japan Medicare. Which i must say, is heaps nice. The staff were approachable and attentive. I was well impressed with their professionalism and manners. No snobbish looks and the waiting time was no where close to those dodgey clinics. They even had a mini japanese rock garden with a waterfall at the back.... ooOOoooo.

Anyway, told the doctor my symptoms and she tested me for various things... [i won't advertise the results] but i've been put on anti-biotics for the next few days and have been ordered to drink a shit load of water. Don't worry it's not contagious.

Got back to the office and decided i'd google my dream and see what all this running is all about and this is what i found, which sounds very encouraging...

...If you are just running, it means that you are making a progress in life, and everything you do is going to be successful...

WHICH REMINDS ME, i have to go to Fitness first and freeze my account cause i haven't gone to the gym for nearly 4 months and they're deducting it from my credit card... hmmmph. But with all this walking around, up and down stairs will eventually lead me to havin buns of steel in no time... ahahhaha!

Yea baby, flex 'em mus_cles! ehehhe.

Not good, not good.

It's approaching 6am and i haven't slept. I attempted to dive into my subconcious but for some fucked up reason, i am really restless. I tossed and turned and refused to take a Stilnox cause i don't want to be groggy when i wake up and neither do i want to be late for work, if i oversleep. Plus i've got this really uncomfortable, dull pain in my lower abdomen that's been bugging me the past few days.

Today is going to be an extremely long and painful day. I'm helping my colleague out with a massive deadline and then i have a massive deadline on Wednesday. I'm going to be totally wrecked later this avo.

But i've been feeling kinda crap all day... i think i'm going to see the doctor first thing. Find some random clinic near the office before i feel even more shit.

5 words i fear

Whilst cruising google.com i came across this one site... that seems to summarise those infamous words that every person fears. It's those words that make you feel like there was a glimmer of hope but it's like a slap to the face... you never knew it was coming. No it's not, "ummm i think i'm late".

It's like having to reset the timer and start from the beginning. I'm not sure whether it's just a cop out or just a quick fix for those who have no other excuse but personally i've heard too many times. I hate it. And it just made me think about my post-breakup remedies.

It's strange because for the longest time i was nestled in my cocooned lifestyle and the thought of being "solo chris" never crossed my mind. Eventually i burnt out and to this day am trying to sort out my life and clinging on to my meds to get me back to a normal prescription-free zone. I made a drastic effort to change my life around when i was at my lowest.

The world was against me and i had lost the one thing i cared so much about. I had pushed my friends away, hoping that it would bring me closer to him. It didn't.

I went on a frenzy of getting together with guys, majority who happened to be much younger than me. And the random girl here and there. Desperate to find someone who would give me the attention that i craved for but never wanting to admit i had a problem. I was on a mission to temporarily find happiness. I didn't want a replacement, i wanted to change my outlook. Fuck being scared... it's now or never.

And those famous words, "It's not you, it's me..." are a constant echo each and every time. All for what? Nothing. Why am i always on the losing end? Why haven't i fully recovered, i need to move the fuck on, i turn 27 next year. Fuck.

The English language is comprised of over 615,000 words according to the Oxford English Dictionary, yet the combination of those five words is enough to make you learn French. The sheer magnitude of this phrase could be a Masters thesis, and to hear it from someone you love is enough to make you feel like Bill Buckner in the ’86 World Series; yes that’s right, a complete idiot.

----

Yes i know i'm not a teen anymore and when i get into my little hole of procrastination, i do those stupid online quizes... yes call me a hypocrite... but fuck it. This one was titled, "Are you on the Rebound...

My results:

Your score is 55. The signs of a rebound are all there but it also appears you're ready to move on for real. This is a hard call. While you're clearly still vulnerable on many levels you've also let go of the past and want to focus on the future. This is a good thing! The best advice at this point is to follow your heart and do what feels good. Give yourself permission to be happy again and you'll find that any rebounding that is still going on will quickly lose momentum.

Yea man, fuckin' BRING IT ON!

The beats get harder

The past few days have got me thinking about various things in my life. The things i've done, both good and bad. How curiousity did eventually kill the cat and being fully aware that being emotionally weak can turn ones' world upside down.

I look at my past and see how a bond between two people so great can simply erode over time. How emotionally immature i was to think that i needed a someone to bring me happiness. How insanely dedicated/obsessed i was to making the relationship last just a little longer. But it made me only steer further away from my own problems.

Sacrifices in a bubble of tears. Tears caused by true happiness and droplets of disappointment. Lies, sex and cheating was an outcome.

Now i wonder, was all the bad that i've done in my past coming back to haunt me? They do say karma comes back but how long will it be till i get to be one half of a full circle? Is this the divine beings way of torturing me? Allowing me to taste things i think i want but eventually can never have. An obsession that lingers.

I want perfection but i know it doesn't exist. Consistent flaws embed itself in my ideal dream.

Taking full advantage of situations especially rare moments. Having a habit of not paying much attention of its' outcome or results. Moments where i think, it's NOW or NEVER... but they do also say, Never say Never cause it's bound to happen again. Biting fear in the arse just to get my way, leaves me craving for more.

Am i holding on to a little something that could work but worried that it'll be ruined by my new found selfish ways? I don't even know what it is. I know the time is not now but such feelings will dissolve over time... like sugar to water.

Maybe this is just an excuse for yet another disappointment waiting to happen. This Now or Never attitude, should be renamed as Then and Not Again. Well done Chrissie! Another forbidden secret that will eventually be forgotten and will end up becoming sacred.

Feeling emotionally vulnerable and always the one to say, it doesn't matter but the truth is... it does.

Barefoot Placenta head

Feel the fuckin' LOVE
Scot Project, Bass Agents, Brad, DarkRaverz, HS DJs & Crew + 3
~ Courtesy of DJ Bone

The Crowd loved it!
~ Courtesy of DJ Bone

4-in-1
~ Courtesy of MissYvie aka Hotschtuff

HS Door Bitch discusses her beer situation with Niekon aka Wing Boy
Reminder: presale entry ENDS at 11.30pm SHARP!
~ Courtesy of Sandy

BA slut =) + BA pimpstress =)
We do it cause we LOVE IT!
~ Courtesy of Sandy

Lemon + winkris
~ Courtesy of Lemon aka DJ Learn

Sandycute + beer baby + MissYvie + Licia + Chrissie
~ Courtesy of Sandy

Sandy + Chrissie
~ Courtesy of Sandy

Brad + Chrissie + Cherelle
~ Courtesy of Lemon

So yea, last night was simply fantabulous. BIG THANKS to those who booked presales with the HS promoters [and arrived early], hope you all had a great night!

Made it to the club around 9pm to start up the presales. They moved the desk to the second level landing, which reduces the chaos upstairs but a fuckin' bitch when one has to go to take a piss. I swear, i sprinted up them steps so many times at the beginning it was like i was competing in some marathon, not stopping for anyone... ahahha. Didn't really help that my gators were getting in the way and i was so sure i was going to trip up on them and i'll land flat on the ground. Not a pretty sight and definitely embarressing as fuck.

Fortunately, i've managed to master running around with a skirt that just covers my arse and black furry material wrapped around my legs. So as Goatboi and i were sitting at the desk, beer baby came along to help with the presales... [thanks bunny]. We were told by "the boss" that we could extend the presales admission to 11.30pm... By 11.45pm we were all itchin' to go inside, sort out the presales and enjoy our night.

A guy from JUICE came by to cover the event. He requested to take photos of the boys up on stage so once my shift was over i brought him up so he could do whatever he had to do. So yea, after numerous failed attempts to get JUICE to cover Hardsequence or Bass Agents events, FINALLY they got someone to come to one of the boys' event.

Note to oneself: Do write up and don't forget to email the guy!

But yea, back to the Ohm-Sessions event with Scot Project and Bass Agents. The overall hype was there amongst the punters but not as packed as i thought it would be [i blame the world cup]. Learn played the first set but only managed to catch the last few minutes since i was out at front. Then the BA boys came on and by that time, the crowd was revved up and people were dancin' and lookin like they were enjoying themselves. I eventually made my way to the back and chilled in the backroom with a few others and talking all sorts of crap.

Then later went up on stage to check out the crowd... it was awesome.

At one point i forgot i was wearing a skirt and was standing by the edge of the stage, so yea free peep show for them perverts that were standing near the edge... ahahha. I borrowed DJ Bone's camera and happily snapped away at the crowd when Scot Project was playing. I can't tell whether the pics were any good cause i was just like a japanese tourist taking pics of everything and anything. So it'll be funny to see what crap i took once he uploads them on his multiply... ahahah.

When everything ended we all waited downstairs to figure out what the next plan of action would be. I decided i had enough of my furry legs and undressed in the car at the front... put on my 3/4. But realised i forgot my slippers and i couldn't be fucked to wear my shoes again... so i walked around without shoes on. Everyone kept asking "What happened to your shoes?" , "Why aren't you wearing shoes?", "Do you want shoes?" ahahha... but it was only going to be for a short time and yea it was an odd experience to walk around minus foot wear.

I walked outside the club, then into 7-11 to buy beer, then to Lanson's Place... all barefoot... ehehehe. Not exactly safe but hey, i didn't step on anything that looked dodgey and plus i was slightly intoxicated to really give a shit... ahahha. Got to Lanson's Place and MC Jovieee was at the decks, soon followed by DJ Vacuum... Eventutally Supastar showed some skills. And even got beer baby shuffling on the carpet. Ahhhh... what a good night... it was fucking funny. I can't wait to see the pictures!

There's LOVE... at Lanson's Place
~ Courtesy of Lemon aka DJ Learn

Squishy
~ Courtesy of Sandy

Eventually got home around 8am... can't remember the exact time but all i know is it was fucking bright and as soon as i got home, i totally crashed. Woke up around 3pm and hunted for my mobile phone... Where the fuck did i put it? Still feeling my drunkedness i thought i threw my phone in the wash when i was doing my laundry.

Then i thought... fuck, i think i may have left it at Lanson's Place. All my contacts, basically my life is on that phone, if i lose it... i'm fucked. So called Wing boy for Roy's number... but of course, everyone was passed out and nobody answered. I tried calling my phone thinking that someone may have it on them. No answer.

THEN i thought, HANG ON... i remember talking to Lainey when i got back. IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE HERE...

You know where the damn thing was? Under my fucking pillow. I swear i can be such a placenta head [term taken from my colleague when she's forgetful]... ahahah!

Give that Girl a Tiger!

Ended up at the Guinness Black Party at Ruums last night. My first Black party and probably one of my last. Not to be bad but everyone looked so old. Not one decent looking bloke or a chick that i could perve on... there was NOTHING. But what i can say is Guinness still tastes so FUCKING NASTY.

I could only stomach the Guiness + Tiger mix. I even was game to try the strawberry/grape + guiness, hoping that it would mask the bitterness BUT it still tasted like crap and left a fucked up after taste. They weren't serving Tiger on its own [being that it WAS a Guiness party] but i swear i saw a few tables with jugs of Tiger! So yea, not at all intoxicated and listening to RnB tunes wasn't exactly my cuppa tea [bring on the hard bass i say].

So supastar dj, triple b, wing boy, chook and beer baby found a table near the back and sipped our muddy water. But beer baby trotted off upstairs to meet her new boss and colleagues to schmooze and introduce herself and we were left trying to figure out a way to get beer.

Eventually we went down to the sports bar to have some Tiger but EVEN that tasted odd. We left way before the closing time and probably one of the first few times that i came home early + sober + moody. I came home to check for my presales and update my incoming SMS'.

Then i was supposed to meet up with Chook and Brad at the club earlier and eventually accompany Brad to pick up Scot Project at the airport. But my fucking printer was being a whore and couldn't make it! Well not my printer but the ghetto arse version of a programme i was using couldn't recognise my printer so i had to use my smart cells to figure out a solution.

So yea, finally i got the presales and guestlist sorted but i'm bitching cause i want my new MacBook and i want to install the latest software that's compatible with my spankin' new printer. Fuck all this copy + paste bullshit, then save as web so i can print... gimme my OS Tiger.

Now i have to sort out what i'm going to wear tonight cause i gotta be at the club early. By 11pm... i won't have to work at the door cause that's when presales end... which means i can continue getting slaughtered! I figured trying to handle money + check off names whilst intoxicated isn't a good mix. Not being able to hear half of what people are saying and trying my best to get the line moving is a bit of a challenge.

I'm not a whizz in maths and the last thing i want is to be using my fingers to add and multiply. So yea... I AM SO BRINGING A CALCULATOR TONIGHT! Here's hoping tonight will be good. I think Learn is opening, then Scot Project then my BA boys are playing... wooOoooot... FUCK YEA!

Penny for my thoughts.

It's actually quite strange but this week has gone extremely fast.

I was in Singapore last week, then Labuan, then i had to haul arse back to KL to sort out the presales for Hardsequence... which stressed me out like fuck cause my printer was being a whore. Then it was Sunday and we were chillin at Bruces' then we made our way to the pool [which i must say, was the best idea UNTIL it decided to rain]. Then got home and then was told it was Violet's birthday at Bintang Palace... so went to that for a bit... Then i started my new job on Monday... next thing i know, it's Thursday night and tomorrow is already Friday!

Where the fuck did time go? It's just racing ahead and i'm still thinking it's Tuesday.

It's strange because now my working hours are shorter and i actually get home when it's still light outside. I can finally have a life and i don't quite know what to do with it. I got back and figured that the empty boxes and random items sitting in the middle of my living room for the past few weeks, should really make its' home in one of the cupboards. So did a bit of cleaning up and slowing my place is starting to feel homey. There's still so many bits of crap sitting on my table but i can't be arsed to tidy, so they will remain there until i can be fucked to move them. But i am making it a point to keep my bedroom somewhat decent though.

Since i've moved to my new place, my mates have been coming over and i haven't had much time to sort out all my shit lying all over the place. So today i finally folded my clothes that were lying on top of my suitcase [since i moved in a month ago] and put them in my cupboard. Only problem is, there's no space for my suitcases... so for now, they're standing beside the wall until i can figure out a way to disguise them.

Plus i've been heaps busy and haven't gotten around to getting my Astro decoder yet, so my tv is being made useful by hooking up my iPod to it so i can listen to my tunes through there. But i am deprived of Astro, which at one time i was obsessed with and needed to have on the minute i walked through my front door. Maybe it's just having noise of some sort in the background which keeps me company... i'm not quite sure.

I swear, i'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms. The radiation from the computer screens all day can't be good for my health. YES, i think it's time for me to apply for an Astro decoder before i get tennis elbow or fuck up my posture even more.

RANDOM THOUGHT: When the fuck is my damn MacBook arriving? They said there's a bit of a delay but i need it NOW!

----

But today when i was walking home, i couldn't help but think about my status. You know that section when you fill out forms and it says STATUS: Single, Married, Divorced or Widowed. Well that... the word SINGLE.

I can't decide whether or not being single and being female for this stretch of time can be healthy. I mean, don't get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE the freedom that i have and i couldn't handle having a partner who told me what to do or be controlling. Or even worse be possessive because i have boys calling me at odd times asking for presales or me spending so much of my spare time for Hardsequence and pimpin' for my BA boys.

I do it because i love it... it's that simple.

It's funny cause when i was in Malacca at the Hotlink rave and a bunch of us were doing our own version of a 3 hour Oprah Winfrey show. One question asked to me was, "What makes you happy?" And such a simple sentence took me so long to answer but couldn't get my head around it and honestly i couldn't answer it and replied with, "i'm not sure."

It had been so long that anyone had asked me that and being able to feel true happiness was an emotion that had left me temporarily. Yes we all have our sad, soppy stories to share and yes everyones' lives are shit, so join the fucking club. But i don't compare my life to anyones' and no other person will ever be able to experience the past that i have lived and vice versa. But it's the fucked up things in life that makes a person.

Even though i don't think my past relationship ever incorporated both our lifestyles as one. It was as though majority of the time we lead separate lives. Our sex infested infatuation for each other started when i was 15 and he was approaching 17. But it came to a painful end when i was 24 and he was 26. We fell in and out of love with one another and eventually lead to him falling in love with another.

But going back to the happiness question. My answer would be, "Doing what i do for Hardsequence and helping out DJ Soft Cock and Supastar DJ bring the Hard Dance scene to life in KL".

I'm not sure whether it's the music and just being there listening to your favourite track being played by one of your best mates or seeing people go absolutely mad on the dance floor or both. But it's fuckin' unreal. It's that moment when you hear the build up and the bass gets louder and suddenly it drops... and throws itself back in with even more force... it's like pure ecstasy. You feel it run through you and it's like miniture eruptions, a feeling like no other. I love it.

I swear... seriously, i fucking love Bass Agents and Hardsequence.

Did you know that in about 2 months time Hardsequence will be celebrating 1 year? I remember we were all brainstorming for a name. It started from nothing to club hopping and now to us moving to a new venue and seeing Ruums so packed. I couldn't be any happier for my boys... seriously. I am so proud of them and for us all...

-----

But to be honest, i do miss sharing my happiness with a someone. Someone who actually understands what i'm talking about and can feel the excitement that i feel. A someone who can be as nervous as me before my night begins. A someone who i have an invisible connection with. A someone who can keep me grounded but someone who needs me. A someone i can lie beside in my real world and a someone i see once i leave my subconscious.

I don't think he exists... [but i'll whisper my wish, just incase he hears]. So i'll just wait and kiss the rain.

But i know i may have done things i shouldn't have done, said many hurtful things to those i care about and to those i don't give two fucks about. I know in my past i've cheated, lied and crossed the line numerous times but i have concluded... That i hold onto no Regrets and neither should you.

But as fucked up and suicidal i was at one point, i can say now... i'm happy that i chose to live.

Boys mags are more fun

I cruise various sites and one in particular is askmen.com AND if you're wondering, why the fuck is she reading men's online magazines... my answer to that is: because i can and it's heaps more interesting than those soppy sites that talk about menstruation and feature quizes or pose questions like;

"Will i ever get a boyfriend?"
- honey with whinging like that, most likely not. So quit your wishing and put on a saucy outfit and strut your stuff [without looking like a cheap whore or like you've just gone shopping in the discount children's department].

Or

"Does my boyfriend still love me if i look fat and if i wear [insert item of clothing]?"
- Puh-lease, are you for real!? Stop sucking your gut in and get your arse to the gym if you think your orange-peel-looking arse is getting in the way. You're probably not fat, you've just been brain-washed by the media to think that 'skin & bones' is beautiful. And if you're worried about that extra tire around your waist, whisper to your boi something nasty that you wanna do to him later in bed... I'M suUUUURE he's thinkin'... "FINALLY "THE FAT BITCH" IS GONNA SCREW ME TONIGHT!" [ok, maybe not FAT BITCH, you can insert whatever name in there].

So yea, i don't think i'd do well as a counsellor or a good Agony Aunt columnist... ahahha. Anyway i came across this one section... "Tips from a Hash House Harriers"

[The Hash House Harriers is a 70-year-old organization that began in Kuala Lumpur. It has since expanded to 1,700 branches in nearly every major city in the world. Based on the "hares and hounds" premise of pursuit, the group's single social activity consists of human "hounds" chasing down a trail left by "hares" in a public place. In the modern version, alcohol and cross-dressing play a central role].

A few cracked me up... here are ones that i thought were good...

I do a lot of drinking. How can I make sure my performance doesn't suffer as a result?
Make sure your partner is equally drunk. It won't improve your performance, but with any luck, she won't remember any of it in the morning.

What's a good ground rule for sex in public?
Avoid sand.

Can a long-distance relationship work?
Absolutely. Phone sex is required. You have to be comfortable saying anything over the phone to be able to satisfy each other while you're apart. I'm doing it right now.

[KL] HARDSEQUENCE pres. X-Statik

ooOoooer...

Yes kiddiwinks... X-Statik... WILL be makin an appearance down in KL...

So all you HS supporters and Hard Trance fans... mozey on down to Ruums on 1st of July.

And again, for those who wish to book HS presales... you can SMS me your name and email addy [for database purposes] BEFORE 1st of July. BUT do try and get your arse to the club early cause the presale admission closes at 11.30pm and so does the counter...

If you don't want to wait in a line... i suggest you come in early... the one and only Nottifish will be playing at 10pm and supastar Didjital will be playin at 11pm... ehehe. If you're late... too bad, you'll have to pay door price... Sorry.

As quoted by x-statik on clept.net:

...also just wanted to let you guys know.. if you would like anymore info on me, please dont hesitate to visit: http://djtracker.com/djprofile.asp?djid=173

i also have a weekly email newsletter which contains all my upcoming gig info and competitions and prizes. its called "X-Statik's Mailout!".

to sign up or to ask me any questions please email me:

x-statik [@] hotmail [dot] com

My Left Eye

So i've made through to the middle of the week at work. Time just seems to fly by once i sit my arse at my desk. But today i had to stay late, it was close to 9pm when i left... [late in their terms is past 7pm... and late in my previous company was past midnight].

I had taken over a job that a previous designer was working on. And they needed to send out the FA by the end of the day... but it's all good, i got it done but my AE is new to the job as well. So i gave him my opinions on ways to make it easier for everyone by the time the job goes out to print. And no, i didn't yell... my patience was good all day. No stress.

It seemed simple but i realised the size that the previous designer used was not correct and i had to reconstruct the whole damn thing and fiddle around. I just hope there's no fuck ups... please NO.

But apart from my "late" day at work... i've been doing alright... minding my own business and trying to get on with Life. My headaches have eased but my lethargy levels have gone up. But then again, that could be because i had a busy weekend. The brain zaps only occur when i'm late for my dosage but NOW it's not as hardcore as before.

So that's comforting to know that my brain cells are friends again...

But i'll tell you what WASN'T comforting... my fucking left eye! It was bugging me for some reason and i couldn't figure out what the fuck was wrong with it. I spent most of my day winking at everyone cause i couldn't see properly.

But it's ok, nobody gave me strange looks, [so i think... ahahha] and i'm sure majority of the male specimens are gay. But no, there will be no office scandals or affairs at this office... ahahha.

How odd!

So i'm in the office doing some research for a job i got... i'm looking for some images on cooking utensils and keyed it into gettyimages. I found this one pic which i find VERY disturbing [although not even close to being related to what i am actually looking for] but for some odd reason i can't stop looking at it... YES i thought i'd share =)

I mean seriously, who in their right mind would need to search for a featherless chook with a plastic baby's head on it? Look at it's wings... ahahhah! OMFG... it's starting to morph into a bat.

Oh what a night...

When i went to my interview, a few months back, i had many questions about the work culture at my prospective company. One was...

"sooOOOooo... what are the working hours like here?"

When i was told 9am - 6pm but if you have work to do, you can stay back... i was thinking to myself, suUUuuuure i've heard THAT one before.

But suprisingly by 6.30pm majority of the people had switched off their computers and were no where to be seen. People ACTUALLY have a chance to have a life in this company.

I've been given 2 jobs already, although one of them is me taking over a previous job, which is close to completion as the client has only requested for one change... NOT BAD. The other is for a poster... which i've done one simple layout [but am not quite satisfied with ityet].

Then mid day i receive a huge basket of flowers [talk about embarressing, i was thinking, omfg... who could this be from... i have no admirers!]. I opened the card and this is what it said...

Dear Christina,
"Wishing you success in your latest career move and having a great time at [insert company name"

Love always, Mum & Dad

So yea... was heaps happy... THANK YOU =) And of course a few of my colleagues were inching closer to find out who they were from... ahahha.

But i must say the people that i've met so far [i've already forgotten their names] are heaps friendly and there doesn't seem to be any conflict amongst them... so that's a bonus. I know it's only been my first day but 1st impressions do last and for what i see, i THINK i'm going to like it here.

I got home before the sun set [feels strange as i've been used to leaving my previous office when it's nearing the stroke of midnight] and was heaps tired from the lack of sleep and activity from the past weekend =)

So i crashed on my bed for a solid 3 hours... NICE.

-----xox-----

But it's nearly 2am and i SHOULD really go and pass out now...

BUT BEFORE I PISS OFF, i'll post a few pics from the Hardsequence event on June 17th 2006 at Ruums Bar + Club in KL Malaysia... MUCH LOVE and summersaults to the DJs and the HS crew for all their help and making the night a great success. And not forgetting those who came to support us... xox.

The boys...

All visuals on projectors were proudly created by Didjital

The console + part of the crowd

LOVE LOVE... Miss Callie Tan [my beer baby bunny] + Chrissie

Nottifish + winkris

Pass Out Ben's pose... ahahhah!

Kenn + Chris [in desperate need of more sleep]

Vic + Bruce [see... no visible sweats... ehehe] + Kenny + Xt-Acid

Awww...

Look and you'll see Lainey + Chrissie shamelessly posing for the cam... ehehe

THANK YOU and see you next HS!

Kinky Angel Kev + Missy Eye-Bags + Da Drunk Fairy
~ courtesty of KinkyPugKev


You like?
~ courtesty of KinkyPugKev


FEEL the fuckin' LOVE!
~ courtesty of KinkyPugKev

My first Day

So i'm sitting at my new desk, in my new office. What a change of environment.

Got here by 9am and there was 1 person in the office. I did the short tour and potted around for a bit. A few of my ex-colleagues work here, so it was good fun to chat with them and catch up on the goss.

My desk is bare but soon enough i'll be moving bits and pieces here to make it look homey. Just beside me in the corner there's 2 huge bean bags that people can lounge on and browse through the books. So far so good. And people here are heaps friendly.

Believe it or not, my hours are from 9.30am-6.30pm... i'm so fuckin excited over that! Considering my regular hours in my old office was at least 12 hours if not 16 hours.

Ok... i've been given my first job, basically taking over a previous designers' job... will write more later to update ya on the Hardsequence event on saturday... which i'd like to add, was FUCKING EXCELLENT!

Day 3

So far the half dosage has been somewhat kind to me. Only complaint i have is the constant dull headache, a few aches here and there and an increase in my tired-ness.

I had a decent nights' rest [probably because i was travelling all over the place and was irritated by the long MRT jouney from the airport]. And of course my night was accompanied by strange dreams [which i have forgotten already]. I woke up super tired and not in a mood to do that much. I dozed off some time after lunch and woke up when daylight was changing its shift.

My mom's been raving about Inty's masseuse skills for some time now. Inty is my mom's maid, she helps her out with the cooking and domestic household chores. Basically keeps her company as well. She speaks very little English, so my mom speaks to her in BM. But she's sweet and she's always humming some tune... not like a crazy person but she seems to enjoy what she's doing. Anyway, i wake up and my mom asks me whether i want my massage now or later. Sweet.

...

Two hours later and smelling like a well kneeded piece of sweet dough, i feel relaxed. And let me tell you, every little knot and discomfort has been temporarily erased from this pint and half sized body, [i am so gonna suffer bruises].

Sat through dinner with matted hair and a half arsed effort of a pony tail. Continued to feed my face with home cooked fish curry and washed it down with freshly squeezed orange juice... [i have a tendancy to over eat when i'm back home]. It's like being at some relaxation resort only difference is i just pay for the flight. Get pampered, stuff my face, sleep in and do nothing... not a bad deal i say.

oOoo oOooo, talking about flights, my plane leaves early in the morning and i'm not looking forward to an early wake up call. My taxi is arriving at 6am [which is around the time that i usually am about to fall into deep sleep] *sigh* I may not even go to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be a very long day though. I have a connecting flight around mid-day and that's when the Chrissie-Adventures begins.

Note to oneself: Don't talk to strange men.

I reach Labuan only at 3pm and i have no idea what to expect. I know a representative is meeting me at the airport but i have no idea what my agenda is for the day. How exciting, my adventure begins the moment i step on the plane. I don't have my laptop with me, so i'm stuck with my book and iPod. I doubt i'll be venturing far from the hotel but then again who knows what i might get myself into... ehehe.

I promise i'll be good and keep my hands to myself... NO i did not mean anything sexual... ahahha [yes, my mind is in the gutter already].

I get back on Saturday afternoon and i MUST sort out the presales list. A definite long night ahead... so if you see me yawning or slightly cranky, you know why... been on and off planes the last few days. But i'm sure a few drinks down the hatch will keep my spirits up.

I am so not fit for the jet set life style. Well it's not like i'm flying to exotic locations with my own private jet... *sigh* Oh but hey a nice beach holiday right about now wouldn't be too much to ask. Oh well, maybe next time.

Oh fuck, i start my new job on Monday... well nooOooow... there goes my holiday.

How True.

So i made it over the border with no issues. I've only missed my flight once and that was because i was watching the shuffle competition in Times Square some time back and was waiting for my mates to dance. I got so wrapped up in it that i lost track of time. So never again... had to buy another ticket and didn't get a refund on my flight. That was Christmas eve 2005... DAMN IT there goes my money again!

Reached KLIA with lots of time to spare. The dude at the SIA check in counter was trying to pick me up... was the funniest thing. There i was not looking my best and looking like i just crawled out of bed [which was pretty much the truth]. There he was eyeing my passport and asking all sorts of questions about where i work. And knowing that my permit was ending on the 14th and then asking whether i'll be coming back. Finally he says, "...well do you think i can have your number?" My response was, "that's a bit sneaky... i don't think you're allowed to ask passengers that" ahahha. Then he shyly puts his finger infront of his mouth and goes "shhhh... just kidding" But I KNOW he secretly wanted me to scribble my digits on one of them departure cards... ahahha. I thanked him for my ticket and said, "thanks but i don't think so" *smiled then waved good-bye*

So that amused me for a little while... and went out to have a smoke.

Then as i was walking through the airport trying to buy time and fiddling around with my iPod... a bunch of guys walk past [obviously in transit and very much amused that a pint and a half sized person like myself was adorned with ink on her arm]. They tried to get my attention as i walked past... but i couldn't hear jack shit... and continued walking. Yes how snobbish of me but i was hungry and i was on a mission to get to Burger King.

Then it dawned on me whilst i was sitting there feeding my face with a BK fish burger, how many attractive male specimens were at the airport this evening. I wasn't in much of a "well hello there stranger" kinda mood... so i kept to myself. HOWEVER, if the situation were different and i happened to be in club with a Dunhill Light in one hand, an alcoholic beverage in another and music blaring in the background, i think my PR skills would come in VERY handy. I'd be sure to be schmoozing and releasing my alter ego for the night.

But no, i was just another stranger in a big open space, wasting time and staring at the departures screen. As i walked around with my headphones on blaring my music, i kept getting strange looks from people. I was convinced that part of my fish burger had found a resting place somewhere between my teeth. Or i had tomato sauce smeared across my face. Call me Paranoid but i get uncomfortable when either sex stares at me deliberately for an extended amount of time. More so if i find the individual attractive... i'm damn fucking shy believe it or not!

So i disappeared into the book store, hoping that i'd find a book that i could bury myself in. If you didn't know, my attention span when it comes to reading is very small. So staring at book covers and reading the various titles, didn't exactly turn me on. The only book i managed to finish [that is without skipping various chapters because of my impatience] is the book that i featured on the right; My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands. I highly recommend it. I usually read books that have some relation to my life or i find a chapter highly amusing. But often my initial assumptions are wrong and the book remains on my shelf for months on end.

But i did manage to find one book that caught my eye, Smashed: Growing Up a Drunk Girl by Koren Zailckas. I'm only on page 66 but already her descriptions of her many alcoholic adventures and having started at a tender age of 14 sounds very similar to my own. The author writes around the same time frame that i was first introduced. Even being able to relate to what people wore; yes i admit, i am guilty of wearing plaid shirts, baby doll dresses and army boots.

For those of you who were a teen in the early 90s, you'll remember how bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Crash Test Dummies and Radiohead were praised. It was the time when Grunge was "in". So far in the book i find myself nodding and being able to relate to various incidents even though i was never educated in the States. Strangely i am able to agree on even the kind of alcohol 'we' chose to consume at the start... Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine... ahahhaha... a sad arse excuse of a alcoholic drink just so we could get wasted.

Twelve years later, i've managed to work myself up in the ethanol potency. My preferred alcoholic beverage to date, Johnnie Black Label + water + ice. Actually, i'll pretty much drink anything EXCEPT if there's an Aniseed taste to it... *spew spew* That shit is nasty!