Flyby Pollen and Remembering to Breathe.

Spring has finally freed herself from Winters' frosty clasp and she brings with her an array of rainbow colours and a sense of direction. Trees that stood naked in front of my living room window are now sprouting several shapes in all shades of green, all thanks to the process of photosynthesis.


But nature does come at a price.

Allergy sufferers [J included] are plagued with a cocktail of goodies; watery eyes, itchiness, continuous sneezes and asthma. As the increase of blossoms spread like wildfire throughout Europe, we are reminded that the pollen count proves to be at its' highest in the morning. I have even read, if possible, one should try and limit outdoor activities especially on windy days to a bare minimum. And finally once you reach home, have a quick shower and chuck your clothes in the wash to get rid of any stray pollen.

But ever since J's allergy attack earlier this week, our desire to frolic outdoors has been reduced.

So whilst we wait for the pollen to settle, we'll keep the windows closed, arm ourselves with the 3-month supply of Anti-Histamin tablets we bought to fight allergies and let nature run her course.

In the meantime, all we can do is continue to... breathe.


And with no absolute relation to the above paragraphs, i sometimes catch myself reminiscing at various times of the day. At the start, i was like a kid in a candy store. Shy and mesmerized by the new textures, smells and sights. Eventually all i could muster was the stereotypical "long-haired Asian girl with a soft spoken voice that smiled nervously".

And even my updated facts about myself sounded foreign to my ears. Words forming sentences that only months before, i could only dream of saying.

1. I live in Germany.
2. I do have a boyfriend and
3. Yes, we live together.

But more shocking is that it's been nearly a year and half since i said my farewells and hope-to-see-you-soon's to an influential chapter of my Life. And occasionally those Once-Upon-A-Time clear snapshots of my past reappear as flashcards in my head; be it the Good, the Bad and/or even the Ugly.

And then i wonder about the Changes that come about when a person moves on with ones' life. What happens to those lost connections? Is it me? Or is it them that has changed? And then there is that dreaded alienated feeling. Those uncomfortable silences that find you scraping the barrel of 101-Questions in hope that something could break the awkwardness.

Then i imagine that i'm on an extended holiday and at any moment i'm about to snap out of this dream.

There i'll be, standing in the Departure lounge waiting for my seat number to be called out. Reason being was there was a mix up and the chapter that i am currently living in, is in fact, fated for some other person! [I swear it's like a full-scale soup opera all up in my head.] The closing scene is of me being deported from what i know as my "Present" time back into my "Past" re-living my relapses and nightmares.

[OK now, it's steered towards a very Back II the Future slash i don't know. And it's even more absurd seeing it all typed out.]

But then i ask myself, am i worthy of this new chance at life? I'd like to think so.

I'd also like think every person should be given that right. And no, this is not some kind of born-again religious outburst. I'm sure there are many people out there with a sad story to tell, perhaps some are worse than others. Immediately empathizing with those who have dragged themselves or pulled through the Depression Battle fields.

Personally, i think experience beats any medical written report or Therapist one-on-one session.

And lucky for you, it comes with this little piece of advice, "To Remember Take Take Each Day As It Comes". Simple but effective. Somehow it seemed to make complete sense when Shit-Hit-The-Fan one too many times and those times i'd be at my wits' ends with work, life and the stresses that came with them.

Brought to you by the Letter P.

Last year i lured J into signing up with facebook because my desire to send him flower pots and animal stuffed eggs as gifts were on the top of my priority list. Then he found Texas Hold'em Poker and i thought i lost him forever.

When i was living in Bonn and he was in Düsseldorf, we'd have our daily update after he returned home from work. And in the background i could hear the distinct sound of "chips" being thrown on the table.

"You're playing Poker again aren't you?"

This time consuming game went on for months. Eventually when we moved in together at the end of last year, i'd find him perched on the edge of his seat either celebrating a big win or grumbling that someone got a Royal Flush. And i never understood why he couldn't just simply leave the computer for just a moment.

Sometimes he'd ask me to play for him while he rushed to go to the loo and i would hesitate since not only did i have no idea about the rules but the stakes were high and i had no idea what i was doing.

"OMG what do i do!?" "Quick, QUICK... what do i click!?" "Faster, TELL ME!"

J would ask whether i wanted to learn how to play but i was always too busy or the better word would be, uninterested. He would explain the rules and like water through a sieve it would go in one ear and out the other.

"I don't understand."

Having to make sure the numbers ran in a row and matching up the suits didn't quite make any sense to me.

Then approximately 11 days ago we were watching TV and he had his laptop set up and was playing Poker. He asked me again. "I'll teach you how to play, it's not that hard". So i caved and let out a huge sigh, "Oh ok."

For the first few days, i would frantically call out, "what i should do" and "how much i should bet". And each time i would stress out, he'd help me and explain what just happened. Each round seemed to pass quicker than the last.

But eventually i braved going into a room on my own and only occasionally asking J for advice...



And after 10 days of playing, not only have i managed to climb my way up to a "Shark" status and get 7 out of the 10 Achievements but i have got a whopping $91,547 in my piggy account.

WoooOooh.

I'm telling you this story because that's what i've been sucked into doing the last week hence the lack of blog posts.

J's been on holiday for the past few days and we've both found ourselves parked in front of our computers. We've tried our hand at Monopoly but playing with 2 players isn't all that fun. So our aim was to find a game that we could both play.

Perhaps i just have beginners' luck, i don't know. But what i will say is there are some crazy people out there betting some crazy amounts! Why can't people play nice?

Anyway, i'm going to try and distract myself with housework before getting lured back into the game. That said, i don't think i'd have enough guts to play in real life. I don't work too well under pressure. I would be the girl still using her fingers to count whether or not she got the right amount of cards for a Straight or the one stressing because someone went "All-in" and i was indecisive whether i should follow.