My lil' Christmas Bling.

4 weeks ago [sitting in the hospital room beside J, sipping Chamomile tea and after a game of Yatzee]:

"So what do you want for Christmas?"
Short and simple, i replied with, "a ring". Not specific as to what kind or from where.

BUT wait!
Before you start thinking, OMG he got her a riiiiing... i'll tell you the story why i chose that present.
...

Rewind about 4 years back [The date is not exact but it wasn't long after my 8 year or so relationship with my ex had finally come to an end]:

I remember i had accompanied my mother shopping one afternoon. We found ourselves in a jewellery store and looking at diamonds. Why? I'm not too sure. I remember i was moping around the store, feeling like shit and hating every lovey-dovey couple in sight. The shop wasn't exactly the perfect place to go to right after a break-up but never mind, that's not the point. I gazed at the little sparkles as they danced under the halogen lights. I felt devastated that my relationship had ended and any slim hope i had for marriage that i cooped up in my head had finally ceased.

Deep inside i thought, ONE DAY maybe, just maybe, HE would be the one to surprise me with a ring. Not one of just costume jewellery but one that would seal our fate.

Obviously that never happened.

So before we left the store my mother says she'll buy me a small ring. And tells me that there is no need for me to wait for a man to buy me a diamond. I finally chose one that i liked and wore it for the next 4 years. I always remembered that day and how much my family was beside me to help me get through it and the following rough chapters after.

1 week ago:
I looked down on my hands and realised my rings are the one thing i always make sure i have on before i exit. Without them i feel somewhat naked. Funny how that's even possible. I gazed at the ring that my mother gave me and the tiny diamonds had lost their sparkle and even the white gold had lost its' sheen. Yes, maybe i just needed to polish it but the memory as to why i got it in the first place remained vivid oddly enough.

And to answer those who were wondering whether the bling is THE ring...

Well sorry to burst your bubble but the answer is, no. It's just a little bling to remind me that J loves me.

But seriously we're trying out the "living together" deal first. And seeing how we work in close quarters is the best test i reckon. And anyway with so many things to take care of in our own lives, i think it's best we take care of them first. Plus i don't think either one of us was prepared for this relationship.

So here we are making it work day by day and i couldn't ask for anything more right now.