I had a dream that HE was going out with HER. 2 Pasts getting together and on other sides of the world. Both have never met but SHE gave birth to a little one. Unrealistic i know as one has a family and is married, the other has 2 little bubs of her own and is embarking on a new relationship.
It was a strange sight and i woke up very confused.
Of course i googled the dream and one particular site said, "Did You Smother Your Ex Boyfriend?" And then i went on to reading and it says, "Women are biologically more insecure than men. They are incapable of engaging in more than a few sexual relationships at a time... this insecurity is laid in women's genes, and they always look for the perfect mate who will be capable of not only fathering her own child but also in maintain security in the relationship. Men however, are biologically more capable of having sex with many women at the same time. They have the upper hand, and commitment to a relationship is a big deal for them."
Hmmm. Damn those emotions.
"It is only when you become apprehensive of losing the guy that you start smothering him. It shows not your love, but your insecurity in the relationship, where you persistently ask the same specific questions. You want constant assurance about the future, and you start nagging him..."
I think at one point in most relationships one does that. Hoping that the other will not turn their cheek and say otherwise. They ask the same ole' Do You Still Love Me question.
14+ months into my relationship we still ask the same ole' question.
And for some reason i remembered when my ex went through an eye operation and i remembered how scared i was, not only for him but my very own emotions. It got me so much closer to him, i felt such extreme emotions.
Then it got me thinking about how similar J's situation was 2 weeks ago, when he had to be admitted into hospital. Unprepared for what was to come, i came home and cried uncontrollably. Although we'd see each other during the day, i would wake up several times during the night missing his warmth beside me.
He's been back for 5 days.
But i still wake up in the middle of the night frantically patting the bed in desperate search for him. Scared that he's gone.
I've been busy experimenting and blending fresh vegetables for our soups. Cooking balanced meals with fish and being extra careful to eliminate ingredients that are harmful. I haven't eaten so much fresh vegetables in ages.
Sometimes i catch myself thinking about the new year and i know when it comes around, he will return to the hospital. Part of me doesn't want 2008 to end. And the routine of timed hospital visits will begin yet again. I know i'm not the one being operated but that doesn't mean i can't be scared. The smell of disinfectant still lingers.
...
And this is for those of you who's in Germany and have been watching Popstars.
"Let me sleeeeeeeeeeeep in your aaaaaarms..."
I'll admit it, we're BOTH glued to the TV when it's on every Thursday. "Jill" one of the past candidates was chosen to sing one of Stanfour's song. Truth is, i've never heard of Stanfour before but the song kinda sticks to you.
Damn it. Now it's in my head.
It was a strange sight and i woke up very confused.
Of course i googled the dream and one particular site said, "Did You Smother Your Ex Boyfriend?" And then i went on to reading and it says, "Women are biologically more insecure than men. They are incapable of engaging in more than a few sexual relationships at a time... this insecurity is laid in women's genes, and they always look for the perfect mate who will be capable of not only fathering her own child but also in maintain security in the relationship. Men however, are biologically more capable of having sex with many women at the same time. They have the upper hand, and commitment to a relationship is a big deal for them."
Hmmm. Damn those emotions.
"It is only when you become apprehensive of losing the guy that you start smothering him. It shows not your love, but your insecurity in the relationship, where you persistently ask the same specific questions. You want constant assurance about the future, and you start nagging him..."
I think at one point in most relationships one does that. Hoping that the other will not turn their cheek and say otherwise. They ask the same ole' Do You Still Love Me question.
14+ months into my relationship we still ask the same ole' question.
And for some reason i remembered when my ex went through an eye operation and i remembered how scared i was, not only for him but my very own emotions. It got me so much closer to him, i felt such extreme emotions.
Then it got me thinking about how similar J's situation was 2 weeks ago, when he had to be admitted into hospital. Unprepared for what was to come, i came home and cried uncontrollably. Although we'd see each other during the day, i would wake up several times during the night missing his warmth beside me.
He's been back for 5 days.
But i still wake up in the middle of the night frantically patting the bed in desperate search for him. Scared that he's gone.
I've been busy experimenting and blending fresh vegetables for our soups. Cooking balanced meals with fish and being extra careful to eliminate ingredients that are harmful. I haven't eaten so much fresh vegetables in ages.
Sometimes i catch myself thinking about the new year and i know when it comes around, he will return to the hospital. Part of me doesn't want 2008 to end. And the routine of timed hospital visits will begin yet again. I know i'm not the one being operated but that doesn't mean i can't be scared. The smell of disinfectant still lingers.
...
And this is for those of you who's in Germany and have been watching Popstars.
"Let me sleeeeeeeeeeeep in your aaaaaarms..."
I'll admit it, we're BOTH glued to the TV when it's on every Thursday. "Jill" one of the past candidates was chosen to sing one of Stanfour's song. Truth is, i've never heard of Stanfour before but the song kinda sticks to you.
Damn it. Now it's in my head.
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