PAST: It was nearly 3 years ago that i was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and roughly 2 and a half years ago when i broke down into a blubber of tears in front of my thyroid doctor. I was going through a really rough time with work, my relationship of 8 years was at its end and my thyroid levels were extremely high which meant my hormones were out of whack. I could say i was a complete mess.
Without warning, she ushered me to see a shrink.
I can't begin by telling you how much of an ass i thought he was. Laughter was his way of dealing with it. Not that i would bust out in giggles but more like each story i revealed he'd laugh it off and made me think nothing was wrong. I begged to differ.
Seriously, what kind of professional laughs at their suicidal patient? It didn't take long for me to change psychiatrists.
It got so bad that facing the outside world felt like a threat to my existence. Nothing anyone did or say could have helped. I was in a very dark place mentally. His only solution was to immediately write me a prescription for anti-depressants. I was informed that it would take a few weeks for my body to adjust. The initial dosage did jack shit, in fact i felt even worse. Panic attacks followed after and i found myself wanting to hide away from the world. Which is when he doubled the dosage and only then did i feel an ounce of relief.
But then i lost all form of emotions and it got far worse before it got better.
PRESENT: 2 and a half years, 2 relapses later, thyroid levels back to normal, jobless, Shrink #2 and alternating my days on half the dosage [depending on how my brain feels], i'm feeling much better! I would say the last few months has made all the difference.
Evident in the topics that i write about and how i feel overall, there seems to be a trend in positivity. In recent months i've made an effort to cut down on my drinking and attempted to quit smoking [but unfortunately failed... BUT I WILL TRY AGAIN].
And with this current relationship i am in, it has in fact sparked Happiness to return. I can't tell you how great it is to have my thoughts quietened down and not feel like the world is out to get me [although i have my moments, don't we all?]. I feel like my days where i wake up wondering whether that day will be my last have now diminished and death is no longer one of my options.
...
You could say i'm extremely excited that my beau is flying half way across the world to see me! Oh my gawd, 4 more days to go! It is obvious what is on top our agenda when we're behind closed doors. I can't believe it's been 2 and half months already!
So the other day i made an appointment to see a new gynae. Not exactly a tourist attraction when one first arrives in a new country but i figured it was necessary due to the circumstances. And although i've never had the "Bees and the Birds" talk with the parentals, the topic of The Pill has come up various times in the past few weeks. Believe me, it's not something i CHOOSE to speak about over lunch but it happened. Trust me, i've had worse!
We all agree, now is NOT the time to take any chances. Don't get me wrong, one day i hope to have children but with so many things to factor in, it's better to be safe than sorry. So i decided to take an extra precaution and made an appointment at the nearest Women's clinic.
Now that's when i found out.
No, no... there is NO bun in the oven. Apparently because of the meds i'm on, the doc is hesitant to prescribe The Pill to me because it will effect the potency of both and may stress out my liver even more. But then again, knocking back whiskey doesn't do me any favors either. She insists that i see a counselor just to make sure i have someone "looking after me" should i have a relapse or anything chronic happens.
Yes, this would mean Shrink #3. My appointment is fixed for the 3rd of January.
She recommends i get an IUD, also known as a coil, it involves inserting this T shaped device into my cervix. But the thought of having ANYTHING inserted that far up doesn't quite sit comfortably in my brain, if ya know what i mean... especially if they say it can last 3-5 years.
I already know every doctor will say that the combination of AD's and oral contraceptives is not good. She recommends a NOVA-T [which has a copper coil and is toxic to sperm] or Mirena which is 3 times the price but releases hormones at a steady rate. BUT after reading several forums online, the nightmares that women have gone through doesn't seem all that favorable.
She then tells me to hop onto the table and does an ultrasound scan. Explaining every step of the way and what each shadow on the screen represents. She says, everything seems perfectly fine and gives me a print out as a souvenir. Phew... my ovaries are intact and everything is within normal range of one another.
She says i can go ahead with the IUD should i choose to and there shouldn't be a problem. I told her i would think about it overnight but i still made the appointment for the next day [only to cancel it the next day because i'm still unsure].
So later that evening i'm googling various methods of contraceptives. Some side effects are more harsh than others and each method has its pros and cons. Nothing is 100% safe except obviously abstinence but i'll be honest and say in the next 2 weeks, that ain't gonna happen!
One would think i would have thought of this years ago especially since i was in an 8 year relationship but i guess one never really thinks about these things in the heat of the moment. Often one relies on Lady Luck to be on their side 24/7 and so far i've been lucky! *Knocks on wood*
I know it only takes ONE good swimmer to hit the bullseye.
As for my boyfriend's past track record, well let's just say he's won gold... twice! So neither one of us want to take any chances and he's insisting we take double precautions. I haven't decided which method i'd go with but i've gone ahead and made an appointment for tomorrow anyway.
Wish me luck!
... Damn it, that leaves me one less day for Christmas shopping.
Without warning, she ushered me to see a shrink.
I can't begin by telling you how much of an ass i thought he was. Laughter was his way of dealing with it. Not that i would bust out in giggles but more like each story i revealed he'd laugh it off and made me think nothing was wrong. I begged to differ.
Seriously, what kind of professional laughs at their suicidal patient? It didn't take long for me to change psychiatrists.
It got so bad that facing the outside world felt like a threat to my existence. Nothing anyone did or say could have helped. I was in a very dark place mentally. His only solution was to immediately write me a prescription for anti-depressants. I was informed that it would take a few weeks for my body to adjust. The initial dosage did jack shit, in fact i felt even worse. Panic attacks followed after and i found myself wanting to hide away from the world. Which is when he doubled the dosage and only then did i feel an ounce of relief.
But then i lost all form of emotions and it got far worse before it got better.
PRESENT: 2 and a half years, 2 relapses later, thyroid levels back to normal, jobless, Shrink #2 and alternating my days on half the dosage [depending on how my brain feels], i'm feeling much better! I would say the last few months has made all the difference.
Evident in the topics that i write about and how i feel overall, there seems to be a trend in positivity. In recent months i've made an effort to cut down on my drinking and attempted to quit smoking [but unfortunately failed... BUT I WILL TRY AGAIN].
And with this current relationship i am in, it has in fact sparked Happiness to return. I can't tell you how great it is to have my thoughts quietened down and not feel like the world is out to get me [although i have my moments, don't we all?]. I feel like my days where i wake up wondering whether that day will be my last have now diminished and death is no longer one of my options.
...
You could say i'm extremely excited that my beau is flying half way across the world to see me! Oh my gawd, 4 more days to go! It is obvious what is on top our agenda when we're behind closed doors. I can't believe it's been 2 and half months already!
So the other day i made an appointment to see a new gynae. Not exactly a tourist attraction when one first arrives in a new country but i figured it was necessary due to the circumstances. And although i've never had the "Bees and the Birds" talk with the parentals, the topic of The Pill has come up various times in the past few weeks. Believe me, it's not something i CHOOSE to speak about over lunch but it happened. Trust me, i've had worse!
We all agree, now is NOT the time to take any chances. Don't get me wrong, one day i hope to have children but with so many things to factor in, it's better to be safe than sorry. So i decided to take an extra precaution and made an appointment at the nearest Women's clinic.
Now that's when i found out.
No, no... there is NO bun in the oven. Apparently because of the meds i'm on, the doc is hesitant to prescribe The Pill to me because it will effect the potency of both and may stress out my liver even more. But then again, knocking back whiskey doesn't do me any favors either. She insists that i see a counselor just to make sure i have someone "looking after me" should i have a relapse or anything chronic happens.
Yes, this would mean Shrink #3. My appointment is fixed for the 3rd of January.
She recommends i get an IUD, also known as a coil, it involves inserting this T shaped device into my cervix. But the thought of having ANYTHING inserted that far up doesn't quite sit comfortably in my brain, if ya know what i mean... especially if they say it can last 3-5 years.
I already know every doctor will say that the combination of AD's and oral contraceptives is not good. She recommends a NOVA-T [which has a copper coil and is toxic to sperm] or Mirena which is 3 times the price but releases hormones at a steady rate. BUT after reading several forums online, the nightmares that women have gone through doesn't seem all that favorable.
She then tells me to hop onto the table and does an ultrasound scan. Explaining every step of the way and what each shadow on the screen represents. She says, everything seems perfectly fine and gives me a print out as a souvenir. Phew... my ovaries are intact and everything is within normal range of one another.
She says i can go ahead with the IUD should i choose to and there shouldn't be a problem. I told her i would think about it overnight but i still made the appointment for the next day [only to cancel it the next day because i'm still unsure].
So later that evening i'm googling various methods of contraceptives. Some side effects are more harsh than others and each method has its pros and cons. Nothing is 100% safe except obviously abstinence but i'll be honest and say in the next 2 weeks, that ain't gonna happen!
One would think i would have thought of this years ago especially since i was in an 8 year relationship but i guess one never really thinks about these things in the heat of the moment. Often one relies on Lady Luck to be on their side 24/7 and so far i've been lucky! *Knocks on wood*
I know it only takes ONE good swimmer to hit the bullseye.
As for my boyfriend's past track record, well let's just say he's won gold... twice! So neither one of us want to take any chances and he's insisting we take double precautions. I haven't decided which method i'd go with but i've gone ahead and made an appointment for tomorrow anyway.
Wish me luck!
... Damn it, that leaves me one less day for Christmas shopping.
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