They say it takes about 30 seconds to make a first impression and i can only assume the more narrow-minded and conservative one is, the shorter the time.
I say this based on an event that happened yesterday.
I had met up with my very pregnant friend whom i've only known for a few months and after 2 hours of wandering around the city eating ice-cream and admiring clothes that neither one of us could afford, we bumped into her mother-in-law.
My German is still shit, so trying to make even small talk was a bit of a challenge.
J was still at work and i still had some time to spare, so both my broken German and i accompanied them to Nordsee since they were hungry.
Then half way through their meal the mother-in-law sees the tattoo on the underside of my arm and asks me what it is.
Thinking that she's interested and knowing very well i don't know how to explain its' meaning to her in German, i find myself struggling to remember even the simplest of words like Himmel und Hölle which means Heaven and Hell and ends up only being a fraction of what it actually means.
I go on to say that i've got more on my body and immediately she rolls her eyes to the side.
It's obvious that she disapproves, so i don't go into detail but can't help but think, how rude! Why did she even ask what it was to begin with?
My very pregnant friend, who has no tattoos and probably in the eyes of her mother-in-law is an angel, says that when she was younger she wanted a small tattoo but ended up not getting one.
Assuming i knew what her mother-in-law's opinion was on the subject, i went ahead and asked my friend what her mother would have said if she did get a tattoo. Then the MILs' younger son, who was sitting across from me, rephrases the question, what would your mother-in-law say!?
The look on the womans' face was classic.
I could see a surge of panic go through her veins. She looked absolutely horrified at the thought that the woman carrying her first grandson would even think of ruining her paler than white skin.
I'm sure if her thoughts were translated it would sound something like, Stay away from Christina, she's a bad influence!
Then she busts out with something along the lines of how "Natural" is better. The more, the merrier.
And according to her, tweezing ones' eyebrows is OK but any more than that is not. Once i heard that, i wondered what her thoughts are on Brazilian waxes and hair dye? They're both not permanent but they do alter ones' appearance drastically.
Then my friend points out that she had 7 ear piercings in each ear and the woman immediately shook her head again. And emphasises that the holes will never really disappear. I could only imagine what horrible thoughts she had of my labret [the piercing below my lip] which was staring blankly at her.
Looking at her sizing me up and judging me on my appearance made me so angry!
I should have just got up and left but i didn't.
And to my defense i was only capable of saying, Not everybody likes tattoos. And at that moment wished i was fluent in German so i could have given her my real two cents worth.
To top it all off, it probably didn't help that i wore my Emily the Strange shoes with skulls that day either. God only knows she probably told her daughter-in-law in the car how inappropriate and morbid they were for a 30-year old woman to wear.
And so J tried to cheer me up by saying, Don't worry about it. She's nobody.
I say this based on an event that happened yesterday.
I had met up with my very pregnant friend whom i've only known for a few months and after 2 hours of wandering around the city eating ice-cream and admiring clothes that neither one of us could afford, we bumped into her mother-in-law.
My German is still shit, so trying to make even small talk was a bit of a challenge.
J was still at work and i still had some time to spare, so both my broken German and i accompanied them to Nordsee since they were hungry.
Then half way through their meal the mother-in-law sees the tattoo on the underside of my arm and asks me what it is.
Thinking that she's interested and knowing very well i don't know how to explain its' meaning to her in German, i find myself struggling to remember even the simplest of words like Himmel und Hölle which means Heaven and Hell and ends up only being a fraction of what it actually means.
I go on to say that i've got more on my body and immediately she rolls her eyes to the side.
It's obvious that she disapproves, so i don't go into detail but can't help but think, how rude! Why did she even ask what it was to begin with?
My very pregnant friend, who has no tattoos and probably in the eyes of her mother-in-law is an angel, says that when she was younger she wanted a small tattoo but ended up not getting one.
Assuming i knew what her mother-in-law's opinion was on the subject, i went ahead and asked my friend what her mother would have said if she did get a tattoo. Then the MILs' younger son, who was sitting across from me, rephrases the question, what would your mother-in-law say!?
The look on the womans' face was classic.
I could see a surge of panic go through her veins. She looked absolutely horrified at the thought that the woman carrying her first grandson would even think of ruining her paler than white skin.
I'm sure if her thoughts were translated it would sound something like, Stay away from Christina, she's a bad influence!
Then she busts out with something along the lines of how "Natural" is better. The more, the merrier.
And according to her, tweezing ones' eyebrows is OK but any more than that is not. Once i heard that, i wondered what her thoughts are on Brazilian waxes and hair dye? They're both not permanent but they do alter ones' appearance drastically.
Then my friend points out that she had 7 ear piercings in each ear and the woman immediately shook her head again. And emphasises that the holes will never really disappear. I could only imagine what horrible thoughts she had of my labret [the piercing below my lip] which was staring blankly at her.
Looking at her sizing me up and judging me on my appearance made me so angry!
I should have just got up and left but i didn't.
And to my defense i was only capable of saying, Not everybody likes tattoos. And at that moment wished i was fluent in German so i could have given her my real two cents worth.
To top it all off, it probably didn't help that i wore my Emily the Strange shoes with skulls that day either. God only knows she probably told her daughter-in-law in the car how inappropriate and morbid they were for a 30-year old woman to wear.
And so J tried to cheer me up by saying, Don't worry about it. She's nobody.
6 comments:
Stories like these make me really sad. People's ignorance can be so wounding.
Since I got a huge tattoo on my left arm I know what you're talking about. I guess it's pretty normal when strangers point their fingers at you or give you strange looks. Cause people simply tend to be like that and hey -they ARE nobodies! But I also had to suffer from rude behavior from people that are no strangers to me. My boyfriend's mother for example just said that the tattoo looks pretty ugly and like dirt on my arm … HELLO?? Totally insulting in my eyes and it really did hurt …
I guess we just need to be above such things ... hm.
Yes i noticed you had some ink on your arm. =) I can't really tell what it is in one of your pics but is it a Phoenix? It looks great by the way.
I'm very keen on getting another one even though there are Haters out there!
As for your bf's mother saying that it looks like dirt, that's so rude. I would be so upset if my bf's parents said things like that to me. I'm sorry that you felt that way and more so, since you can't really ignore the woman.
And as they say, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'.
x
Yes, you're right, it's a phoenix! And thank you very much :) I hope to get my arm finished this year (some flowers and a background will be added) but I'm also very keen on getting another one (or two or three) soon.
And sure, there are a lot of haters and it's hard to ignore rude comments or looks -but still there are also people that think the same way we do. And getting a genuine compliment and above all, feeling good in your own skin, means much more than all the rest! (:
ooOoo nice. I'll be looking forward to seeing pics. Will you be introducing colour or sticking with black and shading? Who did your arm?
I'm actually keen on getting some ink done too but of what i haven't decided yet. You wouldn't happen to know of any good tattooists in NRW?
I guess I'll stick with black&gray, at least for my arm. But I'm also thinking about something colorful and cheerful somewhere else on my body (:
The guy of a studio called "Tattoo Art Lou" in Nuremberg did it. You can also find his homepage on the internet but in my opinion the samples that are displayed there aren't well-chosen.
Hmm, I have tons of great artists written down somewhere and I seem to recall a few good ones from NRW too. I'll be glad to look it up for you when I come back from my short trip!
Oh that would be great! Thank you so much. I've seen a few studios around here and in Bielefeld but i'm still unsure about them.
Well have an awesome time in London and i guess i'll read about your adventures when you get back!
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