Sometimes all it takes is one incident/change to start the ball rolling. One person, one misfortune or one traumatic event to have everything turn upside down. Or perhaps everything was misaligned and it was just that particular thing that gave it that shove.
Well whatever it is, something... someone is looking out for me. Guarding me from keeling over and taking my last breath. I should probably count my lucky stars and even though there are so many things going on in my life right now, i am able to stay somewhat focused even though i can't see the finish line.
I sense an invisible timer in the background and the countdown begins.
I believe there are signs everywhere and the more i look into it, the more i believe that i'm making the right choice. There's so much one can take emotionally before something short circuits. I know, i was there... and as a result i swallow a pink capsule to keep my emotions in check. For how long? For as long as i need to and hopefully sooner than later.
And now if any, i look towards my health as an indicator of my progress. So after doing so well in recent weeks, i am more afraid to ever return to how things were months back. But with the amount of shit that's been thrown at me in the last few days, i've had enough... that was the last straw.
But because i seem to be a drama magnet lately, other parts of my life are affected too. And as a result the one place that i had picked as my sanctuary... my escape... is the one place i don't feel at ease and protected.
Time is speeding up and already it's been days since i've rested my head on my very own pillow.
Seriously, there is just so much to do and now is not the time to rest but i have to continuously remind myself that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. And the sooner i can get there, the better.
Well whatever it is, something... someone is looking out for me. Guarding me from keeling over and taking my last breath. I should probably count my lucky stars and even though there are so many things going on in my life right now, i am able to stay somewhat focused even though i can't see the finish line.
I sense an invisible timer in the background and the countdown begins.
I believe there are signs everywhere and the more i look into it, the more i believe that i'm making the right choice. There's so much one can take emotionally before something short circuits. I know, i was there... and as a result i swallow a pink capsule to keep my emotions in check. For how long? For as long as i need to and hopefully sooner than later.
And now if any, i look towards my health as an indicator of my progress. So after doing so well in recent weeks, i am more afraid to ever return to how things were months back. But with the amount of shit that's been thrown at me in the last few days, i've had enough... that was the last straw.
But because i seem to be a drama magnet lately, other parts of my life are affected too. And as a result the one place that i had picked as my sanctuary... my escape... is the one place i don't feel at ease and protected.
Time is speeding up and already it's been days since i've rested my head on my very own pillow.
Seriously, there is just so much to do and now is not the time to rest but i have to continuously remind myself that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. And the sooner i can get there, the better.
2 comments:
are you ok?????
Heya F... will gather my thoughts and get back to you.
But not to stress... i am alive.
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