The other day i cracked opened a fortune cookie. And inside were some red words of wisdom...
It's cheesy i know. I'm almost expecting to find a funky smelling, century old man with gray hair sitting in a lotus position before me to tell me the secrets to Life. Wouldn't that be nice? Yes it's the kind of advice that any mentor or superior would tell their subordinates to keep them motivated. So the slip of paper remains tucked under my frosted IKEA plastic mat on my desk as a little reminder as to why i am here.
Patience.
A word that i keep hearing or should i say, have been telling myself each day. It's the one element that keeps everything from crumbling down and falling apart.
Patience when;
Somehow Time has changed that.
I feel like a hub. A nucleus. Quite the opposite to how i used to look at myself. Standing in the middle and in front of me are so many new avenues opening themselves up to me. I take each solo step forward and sense the ground tremble like ripples on a surface.
I take a deep breath in and count to 3, reminding myself when things get out of control to breathe. Yes i know, i'm bursting with fruit flavor! I'm trying to stay positive. I remember those times when MLP would calmly say to me, "...and this too shall pass" when shit hit the fan and seconds before i would have a mental breakdown. I miss our morning chats.
But all in all, i miss those people that kept me company when i went through a rough patch. Those who stuck by me to pull me through my dark days. Those people who shared their lives, thoughts and concerns with me every day. I think of those who made an impact in my life and although i can't pinpoint what it is that i miss. I just miss them.
Or maybe i just miss knowing that i have people that i know around me. Does that even make sense? I'm confused.
It all goes back to PATIENCE.
I guess we can't have EVERYTHING. But what i do WANT is to earn money. Something is better than nothing i guess. One of my fears is that i may not be able to grasp the language fast enough and in turn can't even get a normal job. But i'm assuming most jobs requires some decent understanding of German, especially if i were to get back into the graphic design field. I mean it would help if i could understand the job briefs, right!? But i'd rather not be a cleaning lady... thanks but no thanks... i'm sure i can do better than that. No offense to anyone who does clean for a living. Good for you!
But then again one option is to train to be an English teacher. Oh gawd!? Can you imagine ME as a teacher? I can't. Public speaking and i don't blend too well.
Damn it! *sigh* I'm not giving up on Germany... yet.
~ Don't mind me, i've just hopped on the emo train. I'll get off at the next stop...
Secret to success is to be patient and work towards your ambition.
It's cheesy i know. I'm almost expecting to find a funky smelling, century old man with gray hair sitting in a lotus position before me to tell me the secrets to Life. Wouldn't that be nice? Yes it's the kind of advice that any mentor or superior would tell their subordinates to keep them motivated. So the slip of paper remains tucked under my frosted IKEA plastic mat on my desk as a little reminder as to why i am here.
Patience.
A word that i keep hearing or should i say, have been telling myself each day. It's the one element that keeps everything from crumbling down and falling apart.
Patience when;
- it comes to learning a new language.
- trying to adapt to a new way of life.
- it comes to pushing past a broken heart.
- in a relationship that brings in baggage.
- learning more about a new love.
- it comes to the future.
- looking for a job.
- it comes to living with someone.
- trying to understand others.
- it comes to meeting new people.
Somehow Time has changed that.
I feel like a hub. A nucleus. Quite the opposite to how i used to look at myself. Standing in the middle and in front of me are so many new avenues opening themselves up to me. I take each solo step forward and sense the ground tremble like ripples on a surface.
I take a deep breath in and count to 3, reminding myself when things get out of control to breathe. Yes i know, i'm bursting with fruit flavor! I'm trying to stay positive. I remember those times when MLP would calmly say to me, "...and this too shall pass" when shit hit the fan and seconds before i would have a mental breakdown. I miss our morning chats.
But all in all, i miss those people that kept me company when i went through a rough patch. Those who stuck by me to pull me through my dark days. Those people who shared their lives, thoughts and concerns with me every day. I think of those who made an impact in my life and although i can't pinpoint what it is that i miss. I just miss them.
Or maybe i just miss knowing that i have people that i know around me. Does that even make sense? I'm confused.
It all goes back to PATIENCE.
I guess we can't have EVERYTHING. But what i do WANT is to earn money. Something is better than nothing i guess. One of my fears is that i may not be able to grasp the language fast enough and in turn can't even get a normal job. But i'm assuming most jobs requires some decent understanding of German, especially if i were to get back into the graphic design field. I mean it would help if i could understand the job briefs, right!? But i'd rather not be a cleaning lady... thanks but no thanks... i'm sure i can do better than that. No offense to anyone who does clean for a living. Good for you!
But then again one option is to train to be an English teacher. Oh gawd!? Can you imagine ME as a teacher? I can't. Public speaking and i don't blend too well.
Damn it! *sigh* I'm not giving up on Germany... yet.
~ Don't mind me, i've just hopped on the emo train. I'll get off at the next stop...
2 comments:
Been reading few of your latest posts. I too have many uncertainties in my life. Just moved to a new country and knowing nothing of it. It's been quite a rough year for me. But I guess you are right, it's very important to have patience at times. When we hit a brick wall, just have to take a deep breathe and reconsider our options. GOOD LUCK!
heya v1nc3, cheers for dropping by and leaving your thoughts. Yea, i guess we all have to make choices and at the end of the day, if things don't work out, at least you can tell yourself that you tried... ain't nothin' wrong with that!
Good luck with you too!
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