I've always envied people who have kept friendships over the years. Especially those who have grown up together since they were young. The longest i've lived in one country was 5 years and that was only because of university. My average stay stands at about 3 years and after that i know deep down it won't be long until i'm placing my belonging in marked boxes and suitcases.
My nomad kind of life is a result of my fathers position in the hotel industry. As he climbed the corporate ladder and shifted from one country code to the next, so did the rest of the family.
Friendships and bonds that i thought were tight, often weakened with distance.
I've lost many friendships over the years but then again, i've gained just as many. Yes, People change/mature, it's inevitable. Nothing really does stay the same.
But the true test to see whether a Friendship has withstood the test of Time, is to meet again.
Are you lost for words?
Or are you able to talk freely like old times?
Do you have anything in common anymore?
Is there still a connection?
All this relates to last Friday because J and i were invited to his younger brothers' high school graduation ball.
It's custom here that relatives and family be present for the Graduation Ball hence the reason why i was running around looking for a dress to wear last week. The parents weren't able to make it since they were overseas, the grandmother is in hospital and the older brothers' girlfriend had to work, so it was only J, J's older brother and myself that went.
I've known J's family way back and met his younger brother when he was just 4 years old, so when he invited us to his graduation ball i was so happy. He is the first and the only of the three brothers to graduate from high school and move on to university. I'm so proud of him!
Then there is the situation between J's brother and i. We were together 17 years ago and were each others' first love. We were together as teenagers for 9 intense months and it took me awhile for me to get over him.
It didn't help that my parents didn't approve of him either. And as a rebellious teenager i did everything possible to see him, that was until they sent me to boarding school and it was All Over Red Rover. We eventually lost contact when we moved to different countries and i ended up in an 8-year relationship after that.
But it wasn't until after 13 years of not seeing one another that J and i accidentally crossed paths here and in an instant my whole life changed. Then in some weird coincidence ended up moving to this side of the world 5 months later.
And within the last two years since moving here, his brother and i haven't spoken more than a few sentences to each other.
I mean what do you really say to an ex-boyfriend after so long? Hey, long time no see! Guess what, i'm now sleeping with your brother.
Yea, not quite.
His girlfriend doesn't speak any English, so i tend to not speak so much when she's around. For the purpose that it's not nice to leave somebody out of the conversation if they don't speak the same language. Never mind that i don't completely understand everything that they're saying.
I guess i'm used to tuning out and not understanding what people are saying around me.
Anyway last Friday was a good opportunity for us to finally break the ice. After a few drinks, we chit chatted about god-knows-what and laughed about the past. And if my drunken memory serves me right, he did say he was happy that J and i are together and that there were no hard feelings.
After all, it has been 17 years. I guess that's why they call history, History - it's all in the past.
My nomad kind of life is a result of my fathers position in the hotel industry. As he climbed the corporate ladder and shifted from one country code to the next, so did the rest of the family.
Friendships and bonds that i thought were tight, often weakened with distance.
I've lost many friendships over the years but then again, i've gained just as many. Yes, People change/mature, it's inevitable. Nothing really does stay the same.
But the true test to see whether a Friendship has withstood the test of Time, is to meet again.
Are you lost for words?
Or are you able to talk freely like old times?
Do you have anything in common anymore?
Is there still a connection?
All this relates to last Friday because J and i were invited to his younger brothers' high school graduation ball.
It's custom here that relatives and family be present for the Graduation Ball hence the reason why i was running around looking for a dress to wear last week. The parents weren't able to make it since they were overseas, the grandmother is in hospital and the older brothers' girlfriend had to work, so it was only J, J's older brother and myself that went.
I've known J's family way back and met his younger brother when he was just 4 years old, so when he invited us to his graduation ball i was so happy. He is the first and the only of the three brothers to graduate from high school and move on to university. I'm so proud of him!
Then there is the situation between J's brother and i. We were together 17 years ago and were each others' first love. We were together as teenagers for 9 intense months and it took me awhile for me to get over him.
It didn't help that my parents didn't approve of him either. And as a rebellious teenager i did everything possible to see him, that was until they sent me to boarding school and it was All Over Red Rover. We eventually lost contact when we moved to different countries and i ended up in an 8-year relationship after that.
But it wasn't until after 13 years of not seeing one another that J and i accidentally crossed paths here and in an instant my whole life changed. Then in some weird coincidence ended up moving to this side of the world 5 months later.
And within the last two years since moving here, his brother and i haven't spoken more than a few sentences to each other.
I mean what do you really say to an ex-boyfriend after so long? Hey, long time no see! Guess what, i'm now sleeping with your brother.
Yea, not quite.
His girlfriend doesn't speak any English, so i tend to not speak so much when she's around. For the purpose that it's not nice to leave somebody out of the conversation if they don't speak the same language. Never mind that i don't completely understand everything that they're saying.
I guess i'm used to tuning out and not understanding what people are saying around me.
Anyway last Friday was a good opportunity for us to finally break the ice. After a few drinks, we chit chatted about god-knows-what and laughed about the past. And if my drunken memory serves me right, he did say he was happy that J and i are together and that there were no hard feelings.
After all, it has been 17 years. I guess that's why they call history, History - it's all in the past.
7 comments:
I really must say that you look so beautiful on the pictures! You're smile is gorgeous :)
By the way ... I've always wondered where you're actually from?
Awww... thank you *blushes*
Well my dad is Dutch and my mom is Singaporean. And i hold a Dutch passport, so technically i'm Dutch but people usually get confused since i'm not tall or completely white, so i just say Dutch-Singaporean.
=)
And my boyfriend is half German, half Filipino.
Singaporean sounds great! I think that's very interesting - probably cause I'm half-Asian myself ^^
Haha und guess what, I'm also half Filipina! (although most people can't tell)
Oh really! I guess your genes lean more to the white side ;)
So can you speak Tagalog? And whereabouts in the Philippines are you from? Have you ever lived there?
Yes, unfortunately I must say! Which is strange because when I was a kid I was ashamed of my Asian origins, haha (I guess because the other kids made fun of me)
My mother never taught me how to speak her language, so I can't. But at least I can understand a little bit ... And she's from a small town near Cebu and moved to Germany before I was born. So I have never lived there. I was only a few times there on vacation since the flight is sooo expensive :(
3 years is also my cycle and i am now in my 4th and past feeling uncomfortable.
:(
Sharon: Kids can be cruel. When i was younger i went to International Schools, so being the very Asian-looking girl, i sort of stuck out. I guess i always wanted to be more "white" so i could blend in more... lol.
As for your mom being from a town near Cebu, my boyfriends' mother is from Cebu!
Yea the flights are super expensive, i hate it. The best bet is to go when it's not peak season.
Duke: Why the ":(" face? NOT feeling uncomfortable should be a good thing, or?
But i still believe everything happens in Threes.
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