Thursday, February 26, 2009

Home... Alone again.

Much like the rest of the working nation, i don't look forward to the week days. But in a span of 24 hours i spend on average 15 hours alone... at home.

Although it does include the half an hour J and i have in the morning where his breakfast is interrupted by him getting ready for work. Then 20 minutes in the late afternoon, when J dashes home to kiss me 'hello' and then 'good-bye'. Just enough time so he can pick up his bag full of notes, a packed box full of sandwiches and a flask of hot coffee that i lovingly prepared so he won't starve.

Then his day ends just after 10pm, at which time his eyes are red from his hectic day and all he wants to do is fall deep in sleep. Then within 2 hours from his return, he's back in bed and the next thing we know, the alarms are screaming for us to wake up 6 hours later.

But Thursdays are a little kinder, i get to see him an hour and a half longer.

He has a break in between classes and since the school is only 5 minutes drive away, this gives him a breather to come back home and have a hot meal. I'm thinking baked Salmon with cream sauce, mashed potatoes and broccoli tonight.

...

I remember there was a time when being at home was such a luxury. Don't get me wrong, i quite like being at home. But at the time, how i yearned to stay in bed for hours on end. But 16 hour days spent in the office was what i faced every morning and that usually did my head in. My weekends were reserved for drowning my sorrows and an excuse to take photos just so i could remember it all.

Oh how times have changed.

I'm thinking it's all those times i'd openly declare how much i WISHED i would just stay at home and be a HOUSEWIFE. Now look at me, i practically am one. The Universe was listening! In a sense, i've gone from one extreme to another and every day it seems like i'm living a life as a true hermit.

But how sad am i that i still flick through past photographs and of friends' uploaded photos just so i could have a sense of what it might be like to have a social life. And i bet if i were to return for just a moment, everything would be just how i left it... the same.

One would think with all the traveling and moving from one country to another i'd be used to it by now. But why is it that i always feel as if i am the one that has been forgotten?

Grasping on Optimism, i remind myself, it can only get better.

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