Time-Out.

All sorts of rubbish and recent catty remarks were filtering through my brain resulting in a restless sleep the night before. I won't get into it too much but let's just say accumulated stress, unspoken frustrations mixed with external irritations made life at home suddenly... stressful.

Slightly desperate for something to calm my nerves, i knew i had a stash of Xanax in my medicine bag. But to my extreme disappointment each strip i found was expired. Damn it. The strips clearly had EXP JUL 2007 stamped on them. A part of me wanted to close one eye and pretend i didn't see it but alas, i thought i better not risk it and took a Stilnox to force me to sleep.

...

I woke up relatively early today. I think it was around 9. And after clearing what little dishes was sitting in the kitchen, i knew sitting in the living room waiting for J to wake up could be anywhere between a few hours to a whole day. So i scribbled a note to say i was taking the garbage out and that i was going for a walk. And if he wanted he could call me.


After dropping off the rubbish, i decided not to circle the block as i had earlier planned. Walking down the same trail i already know seemed pointless since it would lead me right back to our block within 5 minutes. And that's when i made the choice to venture outside my comfort zone.

I knew there was a green covered pathway somewhere off the main road and so i tried my luck. I found it but it didn't look at all different from the little river near our place. But i didn't want to turn back, so i just kept walking. I followed the river even though i was still unsure where i was going. The path eventually lead to a park populated mostly by young parents with strollers and toddlers.

I caught up with the river and hidden behind overgrown plants a swan was gracefully skimming the surface of the water. And like a tourist seeing something for the first time, i was eager to take a closer look and looked for a bridge to cross over.

I found one up ahead and he/she didn't seem at all too bothered with my presence.

I turned around and found myself directly in front of this huge lake. Unaware that it even existed i was taken aback by its size.

I lay on the grass with my book for about an hour and a half and breathed in the beauty.

I couldn't help watch this little girl throw pieces of bread at the swans, geese and ducks. At one point she stood there having a conversation with them as if they understood. And i think in her head she thought they did. I'm guessing the birds are used to humans feeding them because they came in from all directions hungry for a feed. And if it weren't for the little girls' mother shooing them away, i'm sure they would have dared to peck the pieces right out of her little hand.

My little wander through the park finally came to an end when my bladder rudely interrupted and started calling out for attention. There were no public restrooms nearby and i wasn't too keen on finding a bush either. I got a bit lost at one point on my way back but i tried not to panic. I just looked out for landmarks peeking over the apartments and hoped my memory served me right. I knew the names of the main roads so worst comes to worse i could always practice my German by asking some friendly looking citizen for directions.

But i guess my sense of direction isn't so bad after all because i found my way home.

J was finally awake and dressed. And as random as my urge to go for a walk on my own, he said he wanted to play basketball. I asked where he was going and he said he didn't know of any place. I remembered the park that i had just come back from had a cage with hoops in it and so i shared with him my recent find.

...


And it wasn't long after until i found myself right back in the park reading my book lying on a blanket but on a different patch of grass soaking in more of the sun whilst J shot a few hoops.