*climbs down from cloud 9*
Today was one of those days that got me thinking about where i'm going with my life. It was a case of an all-in-one package; relationships, friendships, career and goals.
For as long as i remember, i've always been the type to put the needs of others in front of me... maybe it's a Pisces thing or it's my sick way of finding pleasure in making sure others are happy and in turn gives me satisfaction. But knowing that i put my own needs secondary makes me wonder how long i can last before i'm left trailing behind whilst everyone races ahead.
But the past week, although extremely short and unexpected, not only allowed me to feel an emotion that i thought i would never feel again but reminded me how important Respect and Appreciation really is to me and how easily they can be taken for granted. And no matter how much you try, you can't change anyone, even the most stubborn, unless they want to change for themselves.
Which makes me think sometimes it's easier to just sit back and let Life take it's toll especially if it gets really shitty. And that laziness only feeds my procrastination habit. But then there are those moments that happen unexpectly but because you can't be bothered to act upon it, you end up watching yet another opportunity slip away.
Obviously there are situations that you have no control of and it's absolutely insane to think that ANYONE would change their life's goals/plans for the sake of instant chemistry and mutual happiness.
But for the sake of my own sanity and knowing that by keeping ones' hopes up too high it often leads to disappointment [a road i've travelled many times before] therefore i keep my feet firmly planted in the ground [a rare occasion but it happens]. A part of me wants to keep believing that he is too good to be true and that he's what i need in my life right now.
I just need to trust my instincts and get off my arse and do something about it.
Which is why i'm not crippled with sadness because our lives run parallel to one another again and i'm forced to accept that this is how it was meant to be. But what we both need right now is to sort out our own lives [however long that takes].
If anything, i believe nobody can dictate anyones' Life unless you allow them to. I'm just hoping that he feels the same and doesn't make the same sacrifice that i've done before by forgetting about himself.
I just know meeting him again has shoved me in the right direction and i know what i have to do. It's only a matter of time and i know the time is near...
For as long as i remember, i've always been the type to put the needs of others in front of me... maybe it's a Pisces thing or it's my sick way of finding pleasure in making sure others are happy and in turn gives me satisfaction. But knowing that i put my own needs secondary makes me wonder how long i can last before i'm left trailing behind whilst everyone races ahead.
But the past week, although extremely short and unexpected, not only allowed me to feel an emotion that i thought i would never feel again but reminded me how important Respect and Appreciation really is to me and how easily they can be taken for granted. And no matter how much you try, you can't change anyone, even the most stubborn, unless they want to change for themselves.
Which makes me think sometimes it's easier to just sit back and let Life take it's toll especially if it gets really shitty. And that laziness only feeds my procrastination habit. But then there are those moments that happen unexpectly but because you can't be bothered to act upon it, you end up watching yet another opportunity slip away.
Obviously there are situations that you have no control of and it's absolutely insane to think that ANYONE would change their life's goals/plans for the sake of instant chemistry and mutual happiness.
But for the sake of my own sanity and knowing that by keeping ones' hopes up too high it often leads to disappointment [a road i've travelled many times before] therefore i keep my feet firmly planted in the ground [a rare occasion but it happens]. A part of me wants to keep believing that he is too good to be true and that he's what i need in my life right now.
I just need to trust my instincts and get off my arse and do something about it.
Which is why i'm not crippled with sadness because our lives run parallel to one another again and i'm forced to accept that this is how it was meant to be. But what we both need right now is to sort out our own lives [however long that takes].
If anything, i believe nobody can dictate anyones' Life unless you allow them to. I'm just hoping that he feels the same and doesn't make the same sacrifice that i've done before by forgetting about himself.
I just know meeting him again has shoved me in the right direction and i know what i have to do. It's only a matter of time and i know the time is near...
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