Back to square one.

*SNAP*

And just like THAT my mood can change. It only took a few minutes but it was enough for me to come crashing down.

I can fully appreciate constructive criticism but if negative comments are consistent, i find that it can take a toll on ones' outlook. I could probably compare it with those women who are in emotionally abusive relationships. Although probably not as extreme but enough to make an impact. Drill it into ones' head that one is not good enough and soon she'll start believing it.

Self-esteem issues? Perhaps. Well that surely won't help in the confidence department.

It seems as if everything thing i do is "weak". I can't help but think that MAYBE i'm bringing down the his standards. But is it really my fault that i can't read minds? It's moments like these that i ask myself, why the hell am i still in this country? And i come out blank.

The more that i think about it, the more that i realise that there REALLY isn't anything keeping me here... anymore that is.

But i've come to the conclusion that, Creatively whatever i do won't ever please him. Oh joy! Now isn't that a recipe for good work and flowing ideas.

So how does one improve? How does one be perfect over night? I don't think that even exists. If only it were as simple as taking medication, then i'd certainly be first in line to overdose on it.