OK it's been 2 days already and i *think* i may have overreacted earlier. Call it "A Moment" but i think i'll just call it "A Woman Thang". J realised i was feeling very uncomfortable with the whole idea, so he thought instead of me being there and not really be able to move the heavy furniture anyway, i could play babysitter for the day. J's colleague, Ekki was helping him, so in exchange i'd babysit his 8-year old son as well as Little L. And that was pretty much my day. I didn't have to be inside the Ex's apartment afterall.
So back to the kids...
To be honest, sometimes i get nervous when i'm left alone with Little L. Often i forget i'm the adult and forget to be stern. Sometimes Little L gets out of hand and i don't have the heart to be angry but then when J tells her off, my mouth shuts up and it's like "uh-oh".
But perhaps it's because i am unable to express myself fully in German. Words that ordinarily would flow out of my mouth in English seem to get lost when it gets translated. My brain starts rearranging the words just so i can make a grammatically correct sentence. Or to find the correct word to say when i actually want to say something takes me awhile for it all to register. So by the time i want to say something, the moment has passed and the topic has already changed.
Yes it gets frustrating and i find myself tongue tied all the time. Most of the time i can't even explain simple things. And when i hear J explain it, i think, Damn it! i forgot that Noun or that's where that Verb was meant to go. But i know i will have to return to German classes soon. Not because my parents are nagging me to go back but because i know i should especially if i intend to continue living here.
Anyway, i think i've gotten the tone right and i know when to put my foot down. But most of the time i just whip out the "Papa said, No" in German and like magic, it always seems to work. Oh and having a TV that runs cartoons simultaneously on 2 channels is an absolute life saver. Not only is it my only weapon to keep her occupied whilst i'm busy in the kitchen but it keeps the noise level down to a normal hearing level.
And yes i know Earth Hour was on Saturday night but YOU try telling 2 hyperactive 6 and an 8 year old they can't watch Barbie The Movie because the world is trying to conserve energy for an hour half way through their film. I didn't want to be responsible for the anarchy and i surely didn't want to be labeled The Party-Pooper of the Century especially after what happened earlier that day.
So i'll tell you what happened, we went to the video store to rent A Bug's Life right after we kicked a football around in one of the playgrounds. Yes, i do know how to kick a ball thank you very much except don't ask me to run so much. Yes i think i know running is part of the game. We got home, everyone was calm and J just connected his laptop to the TV so we could run the DVD. Then he left. Simple right?
But half way through i noticed there was a lag. I'm terrible at dealing with lags [when the voice and the image do not correlate]. So i did the unthinkable.
I pressed, Pause.
Which then froze the whole thing. And my gawd, it was like i had broken some cardinal rule of TV watching. I kept thinking, Stupid me! Why did i have to have itchy fingers and go sticking my fingers where they don't belong. So what if there was a lag and it looked like a flip book in motion. The children didn't seem to mind.
So after the computer restarted, i was certain i was going to be given the Party-Pooper-of-the-Century Award. Since i think they thought i broke it and the movie was gone for good! I had imagined that if that was an adult situation in a drunken Sports bar, i'd be sure to have had a few beer bottles thrown at my head.
And like a broken record i could only repeat in German, "Wait a moment. It's not working" and jumbled up with a silent prayer to the the Fix-It gods to help me. But eventually my prayer was heard and the movie was back on. I was soon praised for doing a good job and immediately my head no longer felt like it was on the chopping board ready to be beheaded.
So back to the kids...
To be honest, sometimes i get nervous when i'm left alone with Little L. Often i forget i'm the adult and forget to be stern. Sometimes Little L gets out of hand and i don't have the heart to be angry but then when J tells her off, my mouth shuts up and it's like "uh-oh".
But perhaps it's because i am unable to express myself fully in German. Words that ordinarily would flow out of my mouth in English seem to get lost when it gets translated. My brain starts rearranging the words just so i can make a grammatically correct sentence. Or to find the correct word to say when i actually want to say something takes me awhile for it all to register. So by the time i want to say something, the moment has passed and the topic has already changed.
Yes it gets frustrating and i find myself tongue tied all the time. Most of the time i can't even explain simple things. And when i hear J explain it, i think, Damn it! i forgot that Noun or that's where that Verb was meant to go. But i know i will have to return to German classes soon. Not because my parents are nagging me to go back but because i know i should especially if i intend to continue living here.
Anyway, i think i've gotten the tone right and i know when to put my foot down. But most of the time i just whip out the "Papa said, No" in German and like magic, it always seems to work. Oh and having a TV that runs cartoons simultaneously on 2 channels is an absolute life saver. Not only is it my only weapon to keep her occupied whilst i'm busy in the kitchen but it keeps the noise level down to a normal hearing level.
And yes i know Earth Hour was on Saturday night but YOU try telling 2 hyperactive 6 and an 8 year old they can't watch Barbie The Movie because the world is trying to conserve energy for an hour half way through their film. I didn't want to be responsible for the anarchy and i surely didn't want to be labeled The Party-Pooper of the Century especially after what happened earlier that day.
So i'll tell you what happened, we went to the video store to rent A Bug's Life right after we kicked a football around in one of the playgrounds. Yes, i do know how to kick a ball thank you very much except don't ask me to run so much. Yes i think i know running is part of the game. We got home, everyone was calm and J just connected his laptop to the TV so we could run the DVD. Then he left. Simple right?
But half way through i noticed there was a lag. I'm terrible at dealing with lags [when the voice and the image do not correlate]. So i did the unthinkable.
I pressed, Pause.
Which then froze the whole thing. And my gawd, it was like i had broken some cardinal rule of TV watching. I kept thinking, Stupid me! Why did i have to have itchy fingers and go sticking my fingers where they don't belong. So what if there was a lag and it looked like a flip book in motion. The children didn't seem to mind.
So after the computer restarted, i was certain i was going to be given the Party-Pooper-of-the-Century Award. Since i think they thought i broke it and the movie was gone for good! I had imagined that if that was an adult situation in a drunken Sports bar, i'd be sure to have had a few beer bottles thrown at my head.
And like a broken record i could only repeat in German, "Wait a moment. It's not working" and jumbled up with a silent prayer to the the Fix-It gods to help me. But eventually my prayer was heard and the movie was back on. I was soon praised for doing a good job and immediately my head no longer felt like it was on the chopping board ready to be beheaded.
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