For the average person the idea of getting a good nights' rest means sleeping at least 8 hours. Slaving away trying to earn a living to pay off ones' addictions [example: caffeine, nicotine, insert: addiction] and desires [insert: items you want but probably don't need] is a daily chore. Then looking forward to getting home to a well cooked meal or for those lazy arse people, a hot and steamy 3-minute noodles in a cup. But for those in the industry, set sleeping hours doesn't exist and creativity is often lacking when it is in desperate need.
[ok i'm rambling...]
As for myself, being able to stay asleep for at least 6 hours continuously is a dream come true. Without the aid of Stilnox or a heavy night of adult beverages, i can stay awake for ages. It's fucked up and i need to regulate my sleeping pattern before i start work next week. Otherwise my first conversation with my new colleagues will be along the lines of me saying...
Why can't i get back to my normal sleeping patterns? *raises fist up in the air*
You know, there's a part of me that wants to stop taking that white little pill that's smaller than a tic tac. But there's another part of me that can't really deal without it. They "say" it's not addictive, bull-fuckin'-shit! My thoughts race around my brain like a rabbit on speed. Not being able to concentrate on one thought for too long and often losing my train of thought is common when i'm in the midst of a story. Damn irritating and not done on purpose to check if the listener is actually listening. Honest... i swear!
I mean most of the time, i'll be rambling on about something and then mumbling about some other totally random subject. And often it sounds like i'm talking to myself... worst part is, i probably am. At the rate that i'm going, i'll end up growing old and be like one of those bag ladies that have imaginary friends and answers their own questions.
Hang on, i do that already... [ooOoh gawd i hope this is not the first signs of becoming senial].
Ever since i got Streamyx connected, my hours are spent reading various blogs, visiting forums/sites and having an obsession with updating my own blog. And when i do manage to rip myself away from my ghetto arse laptop, i find myself being more domestic lately now that i have a full fledge kitchen. Occasionally whipping up something to eat usually in the middle of the night: my latest creation tuna-pesto-pasta-a-la-chrissie... needs a bit of tweaking but can pass for a decent meal. Hey man, this bitch CAN cook!
Ok back to my meds: As of the 13th [which is technically tomorrow], i've been told by my doc that i will be tapering down from 150mg to 75mg. WoooOoooh... that's sooner than i expected. After reading several reports of people going through withdrawal symptoms due to weaning off their meds... i'm scared i'll turn into some crazy psychotic anger filled bitch. I mean majority of my waking hours i'm feeling relatively alright with myself. I mean the past few weeks Lainey and Chook have been chillin' at my place. I've had time to distract myself so my thoughts don't end up evil.
Except for today, i woke up in the late afternoon because i only managed to pass out during the mid morning when the sun was out in full glory. I had strange fucked up dreams. Unfortunately it wasn't a continuation of my previous dream. This time, it was some religious cult clan that insisted i was the chosen one [mind you i am a non-practising Catholic and i have no idea why i was chosen]. I was given a necklace with some engraved old script embossed on it. And i was told that every week i attend this service i would be given a new one. The church like interior was quite bland and the people that sat there seemed brain washed. Now that i think about it... it was quite fucked up... as most of my dreams are.
When i peeled myself off my bed, i fumbled around doing something but can't remember what... and only after dinner had remembered that i forgot to take my meds once again.
Lainey said she wanted to chill at my place and would come over to have some ipoh white coffee. I was busy cruising online... in fact both Lainey and Chook were here earlier. And then just like that my mood changed and i declared that i was in a bad mood. I felt like shit and fuck, i didn't take my meds... so scrambled around looking for a new box and sat in front of my laptop updating worlddj.com.
...
I THINK... i've been sitting in front of my computer for a bit too long now, i'm sure it's been over 12 hours now. I swear, i think my arse is now completely flat. I can't imagine what will happen when i get my new MacBook later this week... another new obsession and more reason for my fucked up posture to drill my spine.
Ok the birds outside are a BIT too fucking chirpy for my liking... shuuuuuuush! Shit, the sun is coming up now, it's Monday and it's 7 in the morning.
Conclusion: Eventually i need to get my arse to the supermarket today.
[ok i'm rambling...]
As for myself, being able to stay asleep for at least 6 hours continuously is a dream come true. Without the aid of Stilnox or a heavy night of adult beverages, i can stay awake for ages. It's fucked up and i need to regulate my sleeping pattern before i start work next week. Otherwise my first conversation with my new colleagues will be along the lines of me saying...
"Hi... i'm new here and no my mascara hasn't smudged, those are just my eye bags. Seriously, it's the new fad to look haggard!"
Why can't i get back to my normal sleeping patterns? *raises fist up in the air*
You know, there's a part of me that wants to stop taking that white little pill that's smaller than a tic tac. But there's another part of me that can't really deal without it. They "say" it's not addictive, bull-fuckin'-shit! My thoughts race around my brain like a rabbit on speed. Not being able to concentrate on one thought for too long and often losing my train of thought is common when i'm in the midst of a story. Damn irritating and not done on purpose to check if the listener is actually listening. Honest... i swear!
I mean most of the time, i'll be rambling on about something and then mumbling about some other totally random subject. And often it sounds like i'm talking to myself... worst part is, i probably am. At the rate that i'm going, i'll end up growing old and be like one of those bag ladies that have imaginary friends and answers their own questions.
Hang on, i do that already... [ooOoh gawd i hope this is not the first signs of becoming senial].
Ever since i got Streamyx connected, my hours are spent reading various blogs, visiting forums/sites and having an obsession with updating my own blog. And when i do manage to rip myself away from my ghetto arse laptop, i find myself being more domestic lately now that i have a full fledge kitchen. Occasionally whipping up something to eat usually in the middle of the night: my latest creation tuna-pesto-pasta-a-la-chrissie... needs a bit of tweaking but can pass for a decent meal. Hey man, this bitch CAN cook!
Ok back to my meds: As of the 13th [which is technically tomorrow], i've been told by my doc that i will be tapering down from 150mg to 75mg. WoooOoooh... that's sooner than i expected. After reading several reports of people going through withdrawal symptoms due to weaning off their meds... i'm scared i'll turn into some crazy psychotic anger filled bitch. I mean majority of my waking hours i'm feeling relatively alright with myself. I mean the past few weeks Lainey and Chook have been chillin' at my place. I've had time to distract myself so my thoughts don't end up evil.
Dear Santa... Please don't make me into an ANGRY PSYCHOTIC BITCH.
When i peeled myself off my bed, i fumbled around doing something but can't remember what... and only after dinner had remembered that i forgot to take my meds once again.
Lainey said she wanted to chill at my place and would come over to have some ipoh white coffee. I was busy cruising online... in fact both Lainey and Chook were here earlier. And then just like that my mood changed and i declared that i was in a bad mood. I felt like shit and fuck, i didn't take my meds... so scrambled around looking for a new box and sat in front of my laptop updating worlddj.com.
...
I THINK... i've been sitting in front of my computer for a bit too long now, i'm sure it's been over 12 hours now. I swear, i think my arse is now completely flat. I can't imagine what will happen when i get my new MacBook later this week... another new obsession and more reason for my fucked up posture to drill my spine.
Ok the birds outside are a BIT too fucking chirpy for my liking... shuuuuuuush! Shit, the sun is coming up now, it's Monday and it's 7 in the morning.
Conclusion: Eventually i need to get my arse to the supermarket today.
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