Boys mags are more fun

I cruise various sites and one in particular is askmen.com AND if you're wondering, why the fuck is she reading men's online magazines... my answer to that is: because i can and it's heaps more interesting than those soppy sites that talk about menstruation and feature quizes or pose questions like;

"Will i ever get a boyfriend?"
- honey with whinging like that, most likely not. So quit your wishing and put on a saucy outfit and strut your stuff [without looking like a cheap whore or like you've just gone shopping in the discount children's department].

Or

"Does my boyfriend still love me if i look fat and if i wear [insert item of clothing]?"
- Puh-lease, are you for real!? Stop sucking your gut in and get your arse to the gym if you think your orange-peel-looking arse is getting in the way. You're probably not fat, you've just been brain-washed by the media to think that 'skin & bones' is beautiful. And if you're worried about that extra tire around your waist, whisper to your boi something nasty that you wanna do to him later in bed... I'M suUUUURE he's thinkin'... "FINALLY "THE FAT BITCH" IS GONNA SCREW ME TONIGHT!" [ok, maybe not FAT BITCH, you can insert whatever name in there].

So yea, i don't think i'd do well as a counsellor or a good Agony Aunt columnist... ahahha. Anyway i came across this one section... "Tips from a Hash House Harriers"

[The Hash House Harriers is a 70-year-old organization that began in Kuala Lumpur. It has since expanded to 1,700 branches in nearly every major city in the world. Based on the "hares and hounds" premise of pursuit, the group's single social activity consists of human "hounds" chasing down a trail left by "hares" in a public place. In the modern version, alcohol and cross-dressing play a central role].

A few cracked me up... here are ones that i thought were good...

I do a lot of drinking. How can I make sure my performance doesn't suffer as a result?
Make sure your partner is equally drunk. It won't improve your performance, but with any luck, she won't remember any of it in the morning.

What's a good ground rule for sex in public?
Avoid sand.

Can a long-distance relationship work?
Absolutely. Phone sex is required. You have to be comfortable saying anything over the phone to be able to satisfy each other while you're apart. I'm doing it right now.