I received a phone call not too long ago. Surprised at the name that was being displayed, since i rarely receive calls from that side of the world. I answered it. It was her.
It was clear from the sound of her voice that she had been drinking or indulged in some kind of substance. She was drunk. She called to say that she missed me and that one year on, she still talks about me to her friends. How she would have given up everything for me. That despite her collection of one-night stands... i had broken her heart. When she's had one too many alcoholic beverages, she likes to remind those that we're with, that it was ME that broke her heart. But how how could i have broken her heart, if i never had it to begin with? An unspoken connection.
Although comfortable with her current boyfriend, she calls me to rant and rave about how much she STILL cares for me. Doesn't care what he thinks... and you know what i believe her.
I remember meeting her about 3 years back sometime. We were at Sangria and we had 'a moment'. There she was... this visibly tattooed Asian beauty with long black hair buying a bottle of Vodka and ordering Cranberry juice. Very thin with a witty sense of humour. We had mutual friends and were introduced. Attractive, to say the least and it was obvious she looked like she could get any guy to sleep with her with a bat of an eye lid. But like a freak of nature we were drawn towards each other. She oozed confidance and her 'don't-give-a-shit' attitude made her even more interesting. We never got seriously physical except for the occasional get together rendez-vous.
Then in 2004 i had gone to her side of the world for a business trip and stayed at her apartment in the middle of the city. Intoxicated nights and days was what it was all about, our discussions never involved 'us'. I was just a friend to her and vice versa. We talk about it now and we both wish we took advantage of our 'alone' times together.
Then a year ago, i remember she called to say she had broken up with her girlfriend and had enough... she wanted to be "straight". So that was that. The relationship between us had remained as friends. And what i thought was just a substance and alcohol infused bond on her side, eventually tapered down and from what i have seen, is much better.
I am grounded majority of the time and to some point in control but each time i see or speak with her, i surrender. Its as though the master and servant roles have suddenly switched. Call it a weakness but she invades my thoughts and thoughts of, "what if" enters my mind. A fantasy that once swam in my subconscious thoughts but evidently has now invaded my waking hours.
I tell her that i'll see her when she comes back and we'll talk things through. It's best that we keep to the male specimens but when we think of each other or talk, it's like...
It was clear from the sound of her voice that she had been drinking or indulged in some kind of substance. She was drunk. She called to say that she missed me and that one year on, she still talks about me to her friends. How she would have given up everything for me. That despite her collection of one-night stands... i had broken her heart. When she's had one too many alcoholic beverages, she likes to remind those that we're with, that it was ME that broke her heart. But how how could i have broken her heart, if i never had it to begin with? An unspoken connection.
Although comfortable with her current boyfriend, she calls me to rant and rave about how much she STILL cares for me. Doesn't care what he thinks... and you know what i believe her.
I remember meeting her about 3 years back sometime. We were at Sangria and we had 'a moment'. There she was... this visibly tattooed Asian beauty with long black hair buying a bottle of Vodka and ordering Cranberry juice. Very thin with a witty sense of humour. We had mutual friends and were introduced. Attractive, to say the least and it was obvious she looked like she could get any guy to sleep with her with a bat of an eye lid. But like a freak of nature we were drawn towards each other. She oozed confidance and her 'don't-give-a-shit' attitude made her even more interesting. We never got seriously physical except for the occasional get together rendez-vous.
Then in 2004 i had gone to her side of the world for a business trip and stayed at her apartment in the middle of the city. Intoxicated nights and days was what it was all about, our discussions never involved 'us'. I was just a friend to her and vice versa. We talk about it now and we both wish we took advantage of our 'alone' times together.
Then a year ago, i remember she called to say she had broken up with her girlfriend and had enough... she wanted to be "straight". So that was that. The relationship between us had remained as friends. And what i thought was just a substance and alcohol infused bond on her side, eventually tapered down and from what i have seen, is much better.
I am grounded majority of the time and to some point in control but each time i see or speak with her, i surrender. Its as though the master and servant roles have suddenly switched. Call it a weakness but she invades my thoughts and thoughts of, "what if" enters my mind. A fantasy that once swam in my subconscious thoughts but evidently has now invaded my waking hours.
A simple infatuation with the unknown still lingers.We both live different lives and have gone our own ways. She's there and i'm here. She comes back in 3 weeks for a holiday, for how long i don't know. I haven't seen her in nearly a year or has it been less?
I tell her that i'll see her when she comes back and we'll talk things through. It's best that we keep to the male specimens but when we think of each other or talk, it's like...
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