For some odd reason, my sleep was restless. I kept tossing and turning. It was close to midnight by the time i switched on the aircon in my room and i surfed bollicky channels on Astro and nothing seemed to grab my attention.
So i thought, screw it... i'll just lie down on my bed and grab the closest magazine i could find within my grasp... JUICE. But by the time i lay down, the comfort level suddenly hit and i couldn't be arsed to flip through the mag.
...I left the light on.
And it was around 4.32am when i woke up. Only then realising that there was no need to waste any more electricity... i fumbled around to switch it off. My room was fucking freezing but the control was out of my reach and sitting in its cradle against the wall. So yea... i thought fuck it, i'll just try and build up enough body heat under my doona... i'll just freeze to death.
Eventually passed out and entered my land of make believe.
And again i dreamt of "you". I can't remember what we were doing but it was just us. My dreams of HIM have slowly diminished but now has been replaced by "you".
My subconscious walks hand in hand with "you" and for those few hours, i think i'm happy... we are happy. Our addictions and passions combined, the right combination of space but both living in a world that is so different from what we are both used to. An unspoken connection binds us... it is OUR secret. An odd combination but in my world, it makes sense. We make sense. But just as sudden as it started, i am thrown out of it just as fast and i return to my cold, bare reality.
And "you" are not there.
It reminds me that Reality does speak the harsh Truth and sometimes facing Lies are so much easier to digest.
So i thought, screw it... i'll just lie down on my bed and grab the closest magazine i could find within my grasp... JUICE. But by the time i lay down, the comfort level suddenly hit and i couldn't be arsed to flip through the mag.
...I left the light on.
And it was around 4.32am when i woke up. Only then realising that there was no need to waste any more electricity... i fumbled around to switch it off. My room was fucking freezing but the control was out of my reach and sitting in its cradle against the wall. So yea... i thought fuck it, i'll just try and build up enough body heat under my doona... i'll just freeze to death.
Eventually passed out and entered my land of make believe.
And again i dreamt of "you". I can't remember what we were doing but it was just us. My dreams of HIM have slowly diminished but now has been replaced by "you".
My subconscious walks hand in hand with "you" and for those few hours, i think i'm happy... we are happy. Our addictions and passions combined, the right combination of space but both living in a world that is so different from what we are both used to. An unspoken connection binds us... it is OUR secret. An odd combination but in my world, it makes sense. We make sense. But just as sudden as it started, i am thrown out of it just as fast and i return to my cold, bare reality.
And "you" are not there.
It reminds me that Reality does speak the harsh Truth and sometimes facing Lies are so much easier to digest.
1 comment:
Get real
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