Thursday, December 21, 2006

The R word.

Perched by the dying plants whilst having my afternoon coffee and cigarette, i suddenly thought of this time last year. The days that i found myself knocking back whiskey + water like there was no tomorrow.

Canoodling with individuals i met on a regular basis whilst partying. Which soon transformed me into a short lived booty call in various occasions. A label not too proud of but somehow ended up being.

Uninterested in anything remotely serious. Getting involved in activities that would be considered taboo and categorized as Naughty. Always being the "single" girl in the group. Why is it that people whom i first meet are quick to assume that i am attached. Attached to what? Are they saying that i've managed to escape the claws of an eager partner hence the reason why i'm out? I don't think so!

But i find myself asking lately, will i ever be in a relationship anytime soon? It's been 3 years now since being dumped from an 8 year relationship and nothing has come close. I start to wonder whether i am capable of being involved with anyone. AND NO, i don't mean THAT long term. I'm talking about something that categorizes me as "taken" and not just a "number".

Unfortunately, i am NOT keen on the whole "dating" concept so that really doesn't help much. It's either BLACK or WHITE, none of that "i'm not sure but we're KINDA seeing each other" bullshit... seriously, what is THAT all about? It's either YES or NO, thank you very much.

Single means being;
  • Content at making last minute decisions and not giving a rat's arse.
  • Comfortable with my schedule and space.
  • Not worried about whom i speak to.
  • Shameless and not worried about what people think so much.
  • Having the freedom of going on road trips and random outings when i please.
  • Friends with all sexes. Knowing that 90% of my friends are male and that Jealousy is not a factor.
  • Free to not answer back to anyone of my whereabouts.
  • Solo. NOT accompanied by a foreign shadow 24/7.
They do say, things happen to those who don't wait. In other words, those who do not look for Mister Right. Trust me, i haven't looked but when i occassionally browse, there's NOTHING! Even if there were, have you seen what's available? [No offense to those who ARE single and eligible, they're simply not my cuppa tea. I guess it goes for both parties eh]. I don't think i'm THAT fuckin' ugly!

I clearly remember having a conversation with a friend of mine and we spoke about relationships. Why is it that often we'll see a couple, the female would be relatively attractive but her beau resembles that of a donkey's arse? Could it be that she's after his money or he's got REALLY good qualities/a package that makes up for him scoring low points in the Appearance department.

Yes, it's shallow but are you saying that a person does NOT put into account ones' look at the initial stage of wanting to know another? It is rare to hear, "ooOOooo that guy/girl has an attractive inner beauty. I want to get to know them". PUH LEASE! Who are they kidding, there MUST be some kind of sexual attraction to start off with!

I mean, i know quite a number of attractive looking friends who are single. Accompanied with great personalities and a history that compliments them. Often they are the third wheel when it comes to dinners or outings. Usually the one who gets grouped together whilst all the couples have their "alone" time.

Which is probably why so many people dread Valentine's day, an obvious Hallmark holiday. A valid reason to grab an arrow and stab cupid's heart for not paying attention to them.

So on that note, i'm going to stuff myself with Burger King. Why? Because i can and i doubt anyone is going to be seeing me naked anytime soon.

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