I was actually very productive at work yesterday, i managed to get what i had to get done. Hopefully if all goes well today, i can show my boss and hope he'll be A. OK.
But apart from work there really hasn't been much happening in my life. Last night i was exceptionally emotional. Perhaps there was a collision of stars or the planets weren't aligned. I'm not sure where that wave of tears came from.
So i might have missed my dose... again. And situations have turned out different from what i expected. And for the first time, i can turn around and question people's sincerity and my importance. Is it wrong to say, it's become superficial? I can't help but wonder whether my existence is nothing more than what i am instructed to do.
I look at what the past 3 years has done to me. And i can only begin to scrape off the layers of crude bitterness, hurt, alienation and anxiety. As i continue to peel away what i had chosen to cover up, suddenly the facts that i never wanted to face are staring right back.
Maybe i'm immune to feeling such remorse, my question is what has it left me?
A collection of little things that has finally lead me to the sad truth. And just as a memory fades over time but never actually disappears, i can only hope that i was more than a fading after thought. But that's where wishful thinking comes in.
But apart from work there really hasn't been much happening in my life. Last night i was exceptionally emotional. Perhaps there was a collision of stars or the planets weren't aligned. I'm not sure where that wave of tears came from.
So i might have missed my dose... again. And situations have turned out different from what i expected. And for the first time, i can turn around and question people's sincerity and my importance. Is it wrong to say, it's become superficial? I can't help but wonder whether my existence is nothing more than what i am instructed to do.
I look at what the past 3 years has done to me. And i can only begin to scrape off the layers of crude bitterness, hurt, alienation and anxiety. As i continue to peel away what i had chosen to cover up, suddenly the facts that i never wanted to face are staring right back.
Maybe i'm immune to feeling such remorse, my question is what has it left me?
A collection of little things that has finally lead me to the sad truth. And just as a memory fades over time but never actually disappears, i can only hope that i was more than a fading after thought. But that's where wishful thinking comes in.
2 comments:
I notice as i get older that I'm a lot less tolerant of superficial behaviour in people. I guess it's because I feel as if it's a huge waste of my time. If I'm going to do something or spend time with someone it may as well be something meaningful you know?
I could just be old.
Have a great weekend and keep on truckin'! <3<3
Did you say OLDDDDDDD!? =p
I guess you're right but at the same time, it's still disappointing. Oh well...
So have you found your dwarf sheep/angora rabbits yet? eheheh...
Post a Comment