Monday, January 15, 2007

What lies beneath...

I would like to think that people go through a transformation once the big 3-0 comes around. I, on the other hand have chosen this upcoming year to be more significant. Why? I still have no idea.

Time Waits for No wo-Man. And it continues to echo and feed on my consciousness. It's no big deal but i'm certain there's more to life than this.

Where did this sudden surge of maturity appear from? Is it true that Home is where happiness breeds? If so, than this was never my home to begin with. Why do i continue to surround myself with artificial happiness? Once the enthusiasm cools down suddenly everything tastes so much more bitter.

It is only when one runs on reserved fuel that the truth emerges from the harsh reality. It's not paranoia, i've travelled on this well beaten track. I cling to my new found sanity, hoping that it'll take me forward.

We all seem to be in search of that place that holds no emotional ties. Could it be that i imagined that beautiful garden? I'm starting to believe it doesn't exist beyond this opaque wall. Maybe the time has come for me to paddle in different waters.

Perhaps i'm a fool to think things were different. There is no difference, it's all the same. Slowly waking up from my siesta, i'm starting to see everything in a different light, a light that i chose to block out.

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