Friday, April 27, 2007

Monotony and the lack of stimuli.

Pardon my previous post, the build up of work stress combined with the lack of loving has somehow unleashed an ugly truth.

One could argue that i'm just a hater and that i wallow on self pity. And perhaps they're right, so what if i am. I reckon i'm in a better frame of mind than say a year ago. Yes it's my way of eventually getting through it all and as stubborn as can be, i'm making more of an effort to try and do it on my own.

This funk i've been in has been around for quite some time and i can't say i've done much to improve the situation. Believe me, it won't be long till boredom and hasty decision making takes over.

I've even tried to think of a hobby that might interest/distract me and so far i've come out blank. I spend more time thinking about what i might ACTUALLY like than actually going out there and enjoying myself. And as H simply put it... blogging is your hobby.

But i was thinking more along the lines of something more productive which doesn't focus so much on my mental status. But then again, that really is the only thing that concerns me at this point in time. Even when asked whether i wanted to go on a treasure hunt/wake boarding/climbing, i am quick to reply with "No Thanks" [i'm NOT an outdoorsy kinda girl].

I know i don't make much of an effort to GO OUT and mingle and I know i am to blame. I have learned to accept the Icannotbearsed Syndrome as if it were an additional limb.

I even have accepted that those days of pashing some random stranger/friend/acquaintance are becoming far in between. When alcohol was the driving force for my floozy attempts and drowning myself with booze was just so i could forget.

I know i can't blame my young reckless behavior and it's probably a good thing i tame down my ways and start to focus on more important things. *Thinks* As they say, i ain't gettin' any younger!

Nowadays, you will find me pottering around at home shifting junk from one corner to another. You may even catch me having a conversation with Satan's spawn and then to receive a repetitive two syllable meow as a response. A feline language that can translate to anything ranging from WHY HAVEN'T YOU FED ME to WATCH ME BEND OVER WHILST I LICK MY [**insert body part**].

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