Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Not quite half but it's better than nothing.

Every month i have a scheduled appointment to see my shrink. A time where i get to summarise what i've been up to in as little or as much detail as i choose. It's not the typical scene that you see in Hollywood movies or sitcoms where the patient lies on a reclining chair and the psychiatrist asks various questions to trigger the psyche to come up with all sorts of information then scribbles his chicken scratchings on an A4 piece of paper.

My visits are usually very casual and i just update her how my mental state has been treating me whilst she scratches her pen in my blue file. A file that contains sheets of A4 notes that i try to read upside down but can never understand. And today after only half an hour i'm already out the door waiting for the cashier to swipe my card and add another RM444.82 to my monthly bill.

I was looking forward to this session, hoping that she would say i could have my medication halved.

I confessed that there are certain days that i forget to take my meds but usually the next day i remember, only because my brain starts to act up and a sensation that can't be compared to anything else but a weird brain jolt that you eventually get used to but a great indicator.

Which is when i usually remember... "OH shit... i forgot... again".

Previously she tried to lower my dosage down to 75mg and i think that was about 6 months ago but i didn't respond very well to that. With constant thoughts dipping down the Valley of Death, i was a complete wreck. She was quick to get me back up to 150mg. [Which was a bit of a disappointment on my side but a HUGE relief].

There are some days that i honestly forget and can go without my meds for a day. So instead of my daily 150mg, she has asked me to alternate my days. The schedule i am "supposed" to keep to is 75mg one day and then 150mg the next. And if after 5 weeks everything goes well and there's no complications then she can officially half my dosage.
So to keep it simple:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday = 75mg
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday = 150mg.
Yay for me!

Although it's not quite half but more like a third or two-thirds of my initial dosage, i'm still relieved. And when i asked when she thinks i'll be able to get off the medication, she estimates by the end of year.


[As of May this year, it will be 2 years that i've had this love-hate relationship with Effexor-XR].

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