I was going to write about an article i found online, about the misconceptions of tattoos and what my views are towards getting inked... but i can't be arsed to get my head around it, so that post will have to wait.
For some reason my words aren't stringing together properly today. So i'll have to wait a little longer until i gather my thoughts and instead i'll ramble on about what's swimming amongst my thoughts.
Lately, i've started to realise a slight change in myself.
Not so much physical [as any modification to my appearance does not count] but a change of attitude and a deeper appreciation for things. I've read about how when people get oldER they get to a point in their lives where they take a step back and try to make sense of the chaos that surrounds them.
I look at myself [figuratively speaking obviously] and although i am pretty much the same girl that everyone thinks they know, the only difference is, like a prisoner, i find myself wondering what lies behind the guarded wall. With a better grasp on my health [which somehow shook me awake] has forced me to realise what is important in my life.
It's as if there was a party going on in my head and one by one the guests are leaving and i'm left cleaning up the mess and sorting out the damage.
With a work permit and a full-time job keeping me stationery, i can't help but think that the life i choose to lead is quite opposite to what others perceive of me. Things that used to excite me months ago aren't on the top of my To Do list. In fact, i've become quite anti-social lately. And to be honest, i'm not quite sure why but you know what, i'm not too bothered and i don't think they are either.
I look up to mentally strong women and envy their confidence and their unique style, maybe wishing that i too could project such aura. Which is strange because a friend once said, "... i like your style". I laughed and my response was, "... but i'm the off-the-rack kind of girl". I only recently injected costume jewellery ie. necklaces to my daily outfits.
How come i can't see what people see?
Perhaps i portray myself as something else. Those cookie cut smiles that you see is what i want people to remember me by. And when asked that all too familiar question, "How are you?" It's easier to respond with "i'm good, how are you?" rather than listing the many issues that plague ones' thoughts. Sometimes i wonder whether that's just a cue for them to talk about themselves.
And so i let them.
I realised nobody likes to hear sad stories and it's that superficial happy-go-lucky attitude that lures people in. But the minute you opt to go deeper, you open yourself to being emotionally involved. And like creating layouts, the K.I.S.S [Keep It Simple Stupid] theory fits pefectly.
I'm slowly coming to accept that i'm NOT like everyone else particularly girls and trying to be like anyone else would be an insult. But at the same time, i'm very much in the same boat like many others, in search of something else. So in fact, i really am like most people.
Hmmm.
For some reason my words aren't stringing together properly today. So i'll have to wait a little longer until i gather my thoughts and instead i'll ramble on about what's swimming amongst my thoughts.
Lately, i've started to realise a slight change in myself.
Not so much physical [as any modification to my appearance does not count] but a change of attitude and a deeper appreciation for things. I've read about how when people get oldER they get to a point in their lives where they take a step back and try to make sense of the chaos that surrounds them.
I look at myself [figuratively speaking obviously] and although i am pretty much the same girl that everyone thinks they know, the only difference is, like a prisoner, i find myself wondering what lies behind the guarded wall. With a better grasp on my health [which somehow shook me awake] has forced me to realise what is important in my life.
It's as if there was a party going on in my head and one by one the guests are leaving and i'm left cleaning up the mess and sorting out the damage.
With a work permit and a full-time job keeping me stationery, i can't help but think that the life i choose to lead is quite opposite to what others perceive of me. Things that used to excite me months ago aren't on the top of my To Do list. In fact, i've become quite anti-social lately. And to be honest, i'm not quite sure why but you know what, i'm not too bothered and i don't think they are either.
I look up to mentally strong women and envy their confidence and their unique style, maybe wishing that i too could project such aura. Which is strange because a friend once said, "... i like your style". I laughed and my response was, "... but i'm the off-the-rack kind of girl". I only recently injected costume jewellery ie. necklaces to my daily outfits.
How come i can't see what people see?
Perhaps i portray myself as something else. Those cookie cut smiles that you see is what i want people to remember me by. And when asked that all too familiar question, "How are you?" It's easier to respond with "i'm good, how are you?" rather than listing the many issues that plague ones' thoughts. Sometimes i wonder whether that's just a cue for them to talk about themselves.
And so i let them.
I realised nobody likes to hear sad stories and it's that superficial happy-go-lucky attitude that lures people in. But the minute you opt to go deeper, you open yourself to being emotionally involved. And like creating layouts, the K.I.S.S [Keep It Simple Stupid] theory fits pefectly.
I'm slowly coming to accept that i'm NOT like everyone else particularly girls and trying to be like anyone else would be an insult. But at the same time, i'm very much in the same boat like many others, in search of something else. So in fact, i really am like most people.
Hmmm.
1 comment:
i think its a way of them telling u "hey, i just had a great day...u wanna listen?" lolz...so yea, its a cue :P
i don't always respond with a "i'm good, how are you?" its ok to let them hear our issues sometimes. it does helps to lift some weight there. (i don't really care if they listen or not, i just wanna get it out...haha)
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