After a very long day in the office, i return not too long ago only to be welcomed by a screaming feline demanding attention and his share of Friskies. With a quick chit chat and refill, i'm into the shower only to have my thoughts flooded with unnecessary rubbish.
And all i can think about is why has Creativity decided to disappear on me once again.
For some reason whenever my ideas get rejected or when my designs are nothing more than meaningless waste of space, i feel like i've failed not only as a designer but it rips away my confidence.
So much so that my boss has had to rope in a fellow designer to help me out after my meeting today. Which of course i am very grateful for her taking time out to help. [THANKS AnBloodyMumNohMore]. But it's as if i am not capable of doing my job and need saving.
Maybe i do need saving. Sometimes i think i'm not cut out to be a so-called "designer" and i could be better off being a shop assistant that irritates customers by following them around the shop because i'm paranoid they'll steal something. Nah... maybe not. I think customers will take one look at me and think 'i' am the one shop lifting.
But seriously, i'm working against a tight deadline and having to choose a suitable typeface, tweaking, rearranging and using various techniques so it best suits the overall essence of the project is not as simple as smacking down a default font.
It's as if i have to live, breathe and BE THE [**insert name of identity**]!
I try to remind myself that 4 years of training to get a degree is the reason why i have a job to begin with. And with a mere 4 years plus of work experience under my belt, one would think i would be used to the pressure. But each time i get myself in a situation where i question my abilities, i can't help but feel like shit.
I know everyone has their bad days and i've got so much to learn but i just can't help but feel like i'm not worthy of my title. It's moments like these i wish i'd come home to a significant other and have a share of that thing that people call LOVE.
I don't deny it... i miss it. I miss having a someone in my life. Sigh... it's lonely being single sometimes. Oh well fuck it... i'm in no position to whinge and moan, i've got more important things to deal with.
So after spending the whole day in the office and being the last to leave, all i have is an A3 page full of various logo directions. So far out of 20, there is hope for 2.
I just hope i wake up REALLY early tomorrow so i can get my arse to work because i have an internal review before lunch with my boss and the other designers [who are also struggling with the other identities and they too are getting help from the other senior designers].
I foresee a stressful day coming up and my brain hurts just thinking about it.
And all i can think about is why has Creativity decided to disappear on me once again.
For some reason whenever my ideas get rejected or when my designs are nothing more than meaningless waste of space, i feel like i've failed not only as a designer but it rips away my confidence.
So much so that my boss has had to rope in a fellow designer to help me out after my meeting today. Which of course i am very grateful for her taking time out to help. [THANKS AnBloodyMumNohMore]. But it's as if i am not capable of doing my job and need saving.
Maybe i do need saving. Sometimes i think i'm not cut out to be a so-called "designer" and i could be better off being a shop assistant that irritates customers by following them around the shop because i'm paranoid they'll steal something. Nah... maybe not. I think customers will take one look at me and think 'i' am the one shop lifting.
But seriously, i'm working against a tight deadline and having to choose a suitable typeface, tweaking, rearranging and using various techniques so it best suits the overall essence of the project is not as simple as smacking down a default font.
It's as if i have to live, breathe and BE THE [**insert name of identity**]!
I try to remind myself that 4 years of training to get a degree is the reason why i have a job to begin with. And with a mere 4 years plus of work experience under my belt, one would think i would be used to the pressure. But each time i get myself in a situation where i question my abilities, i can't help but feel like shit.
I know everyone has their bad days and i've got so much to learn but i just can't help but feel like i'm not worthy of my title. It's moments like these i wish i'd come home to a significant other and have a share of that thing that people call LOVE.
I don't deny it... i miss it. I miss having a someone in my life. Sigh... it's lonely being single sometimes. Oh well fuck it... i'm in no position to whinge and moan, i've got more important things to deal with.
So after spending the whole day in the office and being the last to leave, all i have is an A3 page full of various logo directions. So far out of 20, there is hope for 2.
I just hope i wake up REALLY early tomorrow so i can get my arse to work because i have an internal review before lunch with my boss and the other designers [who are also struggling with the other identities and they too are getting help from the other senior designers].
I foresee a stressful day coming up and my brain hurts just thinking about it.
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