Today has to be one of those days where i managed to get off my arse a total of 3 times. Not only was i super productive trying to get my work done [that is not to say i spend a lot of time procrastinating] but i managed to get some illustrations done. My only issue now is waiting for my boss to give me the copy so that i can meet my Friday deadline.
I had intended to take Monday off because Tuesday and Wednesday happens to be a public holiday. But at the rate that information is coming my way, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. And because my deadline is scheduled for Monday, chances that there will be last minute revisions seem highly likely.
And because of the 2 day holiday, i thought i'd apply for leave on Thursday and Friday but looking at it now, i doubt that's going to happen too! I wanted to make a trip down South to see my mom seeing that she's been wondering why her youngest daughter hasn't seen her since the Chinese New Year break. Plus the fact that i was in Melbourne for my birthday meant she could only wish me over the phone and not in person. [Feeling slightly guilty each time i get reminded].
Time seems to be speeding up, i can't believe it's nearly the end of April. That's already a quarter of the year gone. And i wonder, apart from my work commitments and spending more quality time with... myself, i can't say i've done that much.
So far my only achievements were a] getting my arse to Melbourne b] possibly getting my dosage cut down by a third c] reducing my alcohol intake and d] stay employed. Which i must say, i am feeling quite good about. So while i try to get my life back into place i can't help but think what this year holds for me.
...
Recently i've been told that 2 of my friends are now engaged, actually 3. And as much as i am so happy for them and their decision to spend the rest of their lives with their beau, i can't help but look at my own life.
When i asked 2 of my friends how they felt, their initial answer was that they were happy and then it was followed by... "but i'm not getting any younger..."
YOUNGER? One of them is only 1 year older than me!
And with that response, it's made me question whether or not i'll ever find anyone that'll love me that much to even want to commit long term. More importantly, am i ABLE to stay faithful and not get bored? Although the thought of being in love and sharing an attraction for another is ONE of many things i miss. Sharing those miniscule thoughts, random issues and spending time with a certain someone is much different than sharing them with a close friend.
I guess i'm at the age where more people that i know are looking at the big M as the next big chapter in their lives. And i really don't see myself ever reaching that stage anytime soon which is when loneliness starts to hit even harder.
Maybe i'm entering a new chapter and that is i WANT to move on. Whether it's physically or emotionally... i know there must be more to life than... this.
To be honest, when i was younger i always thought i would be the first to get married between my sister and i. I thought i would be in a stable relationship by now and know where i'm going. I even thought i'd be super happy being a graphic designer and even boasted that i'll be "the best muthafuckin' designer".
But none of those things have happened.
Which makes me think whether ANY of my wishes i made upon the first stars i saw in the sky ever was even heard.
*Draws curtains shut*
I had intended to take Monday off because Tuesday and Wednesday happens to be a public holiday. But at the rate that information is coming my way, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. And because my deadline is scheduled for Monday, chances that there will be last minute revisions seem highly likely.
And because of the 2 day holiday, i thought i'd apply for leave on Thursday and Friday but looking at it now, i doubt that's going to happen too! I wanted to make a trip down South to see my mom seeing that she's been wondering why her youngest daughter hasn't seen her since the Chinese New Year break. Plus the fact that i was in Melbourne for my birthday meant she could only wish me over the phone and not in person. [Feeling slightly guilty each time i get reminded].
Time seems to be speeding up, i can't believe it's nearly the end of April. That's already a quarter of the year gone. And i wonder, apart from my work commitments and spending more quality time with... myself, i can't say i've done that much.
So far my only achievements were a] getting my arse to Melbourne b] possibly getting my dosage cut down by a third c] reducing my alcohol intake and d] stay employed. Which i must say, i am feeling quite good about. So while i try to get my life back into place i can't help but think what this year holds for me.
...
Recently i've been told that 2 of my friends are now engaged, actually 3. And as much as i am so happy for them and their decision to spend the rest of their lives with their beau, i can't help but look at my own life.
When i asked 2 of my friends how they felt, their initial answer was that they were happy and then it was followed by... "but i'm not getting any younger..."
YOUNGER? One of them is only 1 year older than me!
And with that response, it's made me question whether or not i'll ever find anyone that'll love me that much to even want to commit long term. More importantly, am i ABLE to stay faithful and not get bored? Although the thought of being in love and sharing an attraction for another is ONE of many things i miss. Sharing those miniscule thoughts, random issues and spending time with a certain someone is much different than sharing them with a close friend.
I guess i'm at the age where more people that i know are looking at the big M as the next big chapter in their lives. And i really don't see myself ever reaching that stage anytime soon which is when loneliness starts to hit even harder.
Maybe i'm entering a new chapter and that is i WANT to move on. Whether it's physically or emotionally... i know there must be more to life than... this.
To be honest, when i was younger i always thought i would be the first to get married between my sister and i. I thought i would be in a stable relationship by now and know where i'm going. I even thought i'd be super happy being a graphic designer and even boasted that i'll be "the best muthafuckin' designer".But none of those things have happened.
Which makes me think whether ANY of my wishes i made upon the first stars i saw in the sky ever was even heard.
*Draws curtains shut*
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