My first Saturday back and i've returned to my old routine of sleeping in til mid arvo and wasting my hours in front of the t.v. It rained for the early part of the day and the thought of being outdoors didn't even cross my mind.
I've emptied my suitcase and all that needs to be done is to return it to its original spot. And as if i hadn't gone anywhere, my next mission is to think of what else to do with myself. Tidying up is one option but that continues to be shoved to the bottom of my list.
It's true when people get to a certain point in their life, what USED to be a priority takes second place. It's only natural, it's a cycle that continues on. Late nights consisting of drunken chatter and intoxicated friendships don't seem to interest me anymore. It's not something i decided over night, much like everything else, it was a phase that kept me occupied when stress lingered and something i looked forward to.
And it's funny to think of all the times i've been out, i'll be wrapped up in a drunken roller coaster of happiness. Wasted to the point of temporary blindness and then to come home trying to recollect thoughts that don't make sense. Sleeping in so i can waste another day and like a bad habit this would reoccur more times than needed. Don't get me wrong, i do still LOVE my adult beverages but to be honest, i cannot be arsed anymore.
Then there is that habit of dedicating my spare time in supporting others unselfishly [be it friends, relationships or causes] and giving it all that i could possibly give. Some would call it 'dedicated passion' whilst others would think it's silly to pour so much of ones' soul and heart into something when there is no balance. And in comparison to what i get in return, i feel the latter may be right, all it's done is drain me.
Maybe i'm starting to get tired and bored of what this place has to offer. I know there's more out there. Perhaps a someone who will appreciate my existence and understand my points of view. But is this the right time to make any hasty decisions? If i am able to fade into the background this easily, i wonder if it's possible to make a permanent getaway unnoticed.
I've emptied my suitcase and all that needs to be done is to return it to its original spot. And as if i hadn't gone anywhere, my next mission is to think of what else to do with myself. Tidying up is one option but that continues to be shoved to the bottom of my list.
It's true when people get to a certain point in their life, what USED to be a priority takes second place. It's only natural, it's a cycle that continues on. Late nights consisting of drunken chatter and intoxicated friendships don't seem to interest me anymore. It's not something i decided over night, much like everything else, it was a phase that kept me occupied when stress lingered and something i looked forward to.
And it's funny to think of all the times i've been out, i'll be wrapped up in a drunken roller coaster of happiness. Wasted to the point of temporary blindness and then to come home trying to recollect thoughts that don't make sense. Sleeping in so i can waste another day and like a bad habit this would reoccur more times than needed. Don't get me wrong, i do still LOVE my adult beverages but to be honest, i cannot be arsed anymore.Then there is that habit of dedicating my spare time in supporting others unselfishly [be it friends, relationships or causes] and giving it all that i could possibly give. Some would call it 'dedicated passion' whilst others would think it's silly to pour so much of ones' soul and heart into something when there is no balance. And in comparison to what i get in return, i feel the latter may be right, all it's done is drain me.
Maybe i'm starting to get tired and bored of what this place has to offer. I know there's more out there. Perhaps a someone who will appreciate my existence and understand my points of view. But is this the right time to make any hasty decisions? If i am able to fade into the background this easily, i wonder if it's possible to make a permanent getaway unnoticed.
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