There was a time in my past that i wanted nothing but to be with my other half. We grew up together getting used to each others' habits, routines and obsessions. Our days turned to months and soon followed into years.
From the time i stepped into the world of relationships... it was one right after another. With only two relationships meaning anything to me. The dozen or so were simply puppy lust during my adolescent years.
My past relationship seemed almost perfect from the outside [as most things do]. With closer examination, there were many flaws. Many differences and no matter how much i tried to ignore them, it was those differences that eventually separated us.
I for one never felt like i was part of his world. Never quite feeling accepted and always coming in third amongst his friends. His priorities; family, work, friends and me. I'm not sure whether it was selfish of me to think that i would be given more credit. That he would involve himself in my world but was that too much to ask? I still wonder.
He was selfish and to some degree, so was i. Nine years... and you found her. It's been 2 years now and I don't know why i still get emotional. It's stupid and i hate it. Let me find my slice of happiness with...
From the time i stepped into the world of relationships... it was one right after another. With only two relationships meaning anything to me. The dozen or so were simply puppy lust during my adolescent years.
My past relationship seemed almost perfect from the outside [as most things do]. With closer examination, there were many flaws. Many differences and no matter how much i tried to ignore them, it was those differences that eventually separated us.
I for one never felt like i was part of his world. Never quite feeling accepted and always coming in third amongst his friends. His priorities; family, work, friends and me. I'm not sure whether it was selfish of me to think that i would be given more credit. That he would involve himself in my world but was that too much to ask? I still wonder.
He was selfish and to some degree, so was i. Nine years... and you found her. It's been 2 years now and I don't know why i still get emotional. It's stupid and i hate it. Let me find my slice of happiness with...
---
I hate it when i'm alone
with my thoughts but i don't like talking about it.
I hate not having a someone to care for me in that way.
I hate not loving.
I yearn for companionship but i fear it more than anything now.
I hate crying stupid tears when i think of my past.
I hate this emotional roller coaster i'm on.
When will this end?
I hate how i feel right now.
Just when i thought sadness was an emotion i left behind... it's found me again.
I hated having no emotions.
But now emotions is all i have left.
I hate how with depression, loneliness and sadness come hand in hand.
I want to live in my subconscious safe from my reality.
I hate feeling lonely.
I dislike the word Hate.
---xox--
I hate it when i'm alone
with my thoughts but i don't like talking about it.
I hate not having a someone to care for me in that way.
I hate not loving.
I yearn for companionship but i fear it more than anything now.
I hate crying stupid tears when i think of my past.
I hate this emotional roller coaster i'm on.
When will this end?
I hate how i feel right now.
Just when i thought sadness was an emotion i left behind... it's found me again.
I hated having no emotions.
But now emotions is all i have left.
I hate how with depression, loneliness and sadness come hand in hand.
I want to live in my subconscious safe from my reality.
I hate feeling lonely.
I dislike the word Hate.
---xox--
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