I am sooOOooo exhausted! I'm not sure whether it's the polluted air or the fact that i'm now bogged down with more work. I can definitely feel the pressure coming on.
I'm working on a C.I guideline, which i fondly refer to as 'The Thorn in My Arse' Project. Primarily because that's EXACTLY how i feel each time i open the files and work on it... i know it's there and each day there's miniscule changes or additions... the damn thing just won't go away.
Then there are the changes to the X amount of lambda prints for another job i'm now handling. And this afternoon was briefed on ANOTHER job. Which consist of coming up with a concept and layout of an Annual Report. I've been forewarned that the client is ummm... anal when it comes to attention to detail [which i have no problem with, except that there is a substantial number of pages and majority of them are statistics and numbers]. COMPLETE HELL when it comes to editing and FA stage.
And... AND all three projects are to be done by the end of the month. Which doesn't sound so bad except the last week, i've applied for leave. Which means that i'll be working during my days off as opposed to chillin' back.
It's just one of those things where i just have to sit my arse down, concentrate and just DO IT!
...
Then tomorrow i have an appointment to see my shrink. She's been away for nearly two months. Her daughter [in the US] delivered a kid, so she took time off to be with her. Which coincidently was the time when i circled around my dark cloud for a few weeks, which didn't help one bit. But as of this week, i'm doing better.
The past few months i've cut myself off from the core group of friends that i would normally hang out with. I'm not sure whether it was consciously but i do know that it's been quite some time that i've seen them. And to be honest by looking at their pictures online, it wouldn't have mattered if i were there or not.
However, i am seriously considering counseling as part of my treatment. I'm doing it because my family strongly suggests that i go. I have no idea what to expect and i think not knowing is what scares me.
My best mate has found himself a companion and naturally i take the back seat. Which is probably the sole reason why i stopped hanging out with them. They will argue that nothing has changed... but it has. It's the least that i can do and to be honest i don't need to be reminded of what i don't have. As bitter as i may sound, i am happy for him and for all those love sick fuckers out there who dance on cloud nine daily.
And each day i look at my reflection, i can't help but think i am damaged goods. I am no different than those strangers who seek affection and approval. Maybe i'm just like you. Patience has gone out the window.
But with my impatience and eagerness to be 'the one', i honestly don't see that day coming anytime soon. Maybe i'm losing hope. Leave me to my midnight conversations with my soon-to-be cat and my Mondays through Fridays working my arse off to pay for my addictions and luxuries.
I'm working on a C.I guideline, which i fondly refer to as 'The Thorn in My Arse' Project. Primarily because that's EXACTLY how i feel each time i open the files and work on it... i know it's there and each day there's miniscule changes or additions... the damn thing just won't go away.
Then there are the changes to the X amount of lambda prints for another job i'm now handling. And this afternoon was briefed on ANOTHER job. Which consist of coming up with a concept and layout of an Annual Report. I've been forewarned that the client is ummm... anal when it comes to attention to detail [which i have no problem with, except that there is a substantial number of pages and majority of them are statistics and numbers]. COMPLETE HELL when it comes to editing and FA stage.
And... AND all three projects are to be done by the end of the month. Which doesn't sound so bad except the last week, i've applied for leave. Which means that i'll be working during my days off as opposed to chillin' back.
It's just one of those things where i just have to sit my arse down, concentrate and just DO IT!
...
Then tomorrow i have an appointment to see my shrink. She's been away for nearly two months. Her daughter [in the US] delivered a kid, so she took time off to be with her. Which coincidently was the time when i circled around my dark cloud for a few weeks, which didn't help one bit. But as of this week, i'm doing better.
It's so unpredictable, it's frustrating.
The past few months i've cut myself off from the core group of friends that i would normally hang out with. I'm not sure whether it was consciously but i do know that it's been quite some time that i've seen them. And to be honest by looking at their pictures online, it wouldn't have mattered if i were there or not.
However, i am seriously considering counseling as part of my treatment. I'm doing it because my family strongly suggests that i go. I have no idea what to expect and i think not knowing is what scares me.
Time ticks on and i'm used to see them fade in and out of my life.
My best mate has found himself a companion and naturally i take the back seat. Which is probably the sole reason why i stopped hanging out with them. They will argue that nothing has changed... but it has. It's the least that i can do and to be honest i don't need to be reminded of what i don't have. As bitter as i may sound, i am happy for him and for all those love sick fuckers out there who dance on cloud nine daily.
And each day i look at my reflection, i can't help but think i am damaged goods. I am no different than those strangers who seek affection and approval. Maybe i'm just like you. Patience has gone out the window.
But with my impatience and eagerness to be 'the one', i honestly don't see that day coming anytime soon. Maybe i'm losing hope. Leave me to my midnight conversations with my soon-to-be cat and my Mondays through Fridays working my arse off to pay for my addictions and luxuries.
2 comments:
Mate Saturday is out cos i have to be in Malacca for an event....BUT Sunday is definitely reserved for ya..."here kitty kitty kitty"....heheheheeh...oh by the way....do you know where the place is or how to get there??....otherwise i'll do some askin around for directions.
On another note....But SERIOUSLY you HAVE been missed and you cannot imagine the amount of times i've had to come up with an answer for "hey why isn't chrissie here?"
But i understand where you're comin from although i wish it didn't have to be this way.
Hmmm well... i'll figure something out, don't worry.
I guess it's a good way to strike up a conversation. It beats, "gawd, the weather is shocking, don't you think?"
;)
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