I can't believe that it's already November, 2 more months and a whole calendar year would have gone by. My Halloween was just like any other day, there was no Trick or Treat or costume wearing... just another day at the office.
I knew i had to stay back to try and get as much work done as possible, so any last minute plans would of had to been cancelled [a rare moment but SHOULD there had been a reason, i wouldn't have been able to make it].
Possom was still in the office and was buying time til she had to head off to her dance class, so she asked whether i was up for a beer. I needed a break anyway, so i agreed. We ended up chatting over fish and chips and an ice cold Tiger. The conversation steered towards my latest topic; what else is there left for me here?
The longer we chatted, it made more sense. There's so much out there and now if any, is a perfect time for me to venture out of my comfort zone. And in 3 years and 3 plus months i will hit 3-0. It's just a matter of time before i pack my bags and travel to the other side of the world for an extended holiday or possibly more, who knows.
But my main priority is to be completely medication-free. I did a rough estimate and in the past year i must have spent AT LEAST RM6k just on those little capsules that are the size of an obese vitamin.
And with fingers crossed that i remain stable for the next 2 months, i could even attempt to be tapered down. But knowing that being weaned off my medication may result to horrific episodes [like a few months back]. Sometimes i wonder whether it's worth all the agony and pain. But i have to believe that ONE DAY i will be meds-free. Just how i have miraculously been able to keep my Thyroid levels normal.
I used to wish that i'd find happiness but i realise that kind of happiness will only come once i'm cured. And that freedom will be worth much more than anyone can imagine.
In the mean time, i better get back to finishing off my work.
I knew i had to stay back to try and get as much work done as possible, so any last minute plans would of had to been cancelled [a rare moment but SHOULD there had been a reason, i wouldn't have been able to make it].
Possom was still in the office and was buying time til she had to head off to her dance class, so she asked whether i was up for a beer. I needed a break anyway, so i agreed. We ended up chatting over fish and chips and an ice cold Tiger. The conversation steered towards my latest topic; what else is there left for me here?
The longer we chatted, it made more sense. There's so much out there and now if any, is a perfect time for me to venture out of my comfort zone. And in 3 years and 3 plus months i will hit 3-0. It's just a matter of time before i pack my bags and travel to the other side of the world for an extended holiday or possibly more, who knows.
But my main priority is to be completely medication-free. I did a rough estimate and in the past year i must have spent AT LEAST RM6k just on those little capsules that are the size of an obese vitamin.
And with fingers crossed that i remain stable for the next 2 months, i could even attempt to be tapered down. But knowing that being weaned off my medication may result to horrific episodes [like a few months back]. Sometimes i wonder whether it's worth all the agony and pain. But i have to believe that ONE DAY i will be meds-free. Just how i have miraculously been able to keep my Thyroid levels normal.
I used to wish that i'd find happiness but i realise that kind of happiness will only come once i'm cured. And that freedom will be worth much more than anyone can imagine.
In the mean time, i better get back to finishing off my work.
3 comments:
time DOES fly...slightly over a year ago i was still in melbourne (though coming to the tailend of a 6.5 yr stay), and now, i have been back, moved house, switched jobs and gone on a totally diff career path. and we keep thinking, dont we, about what still lies out there, about whether to settle or roam...is it immaturity, or is it just that no one else has the guts/desire/awareness to do something similar? whatever u choose to do, hope u love it and good luck on ur meds.
keep bloggin'
hope ur meds-free day will come soon :)
we are all fighting our own war, and sometimes its just the same war that we wanted to keep peace.
heads up aite!
curio: Yeah, well it's only in due time. Who knows what 2007 lies ahead of us all. And yea, cheers about the meds... so far *counts the weeks* i've been doin' alrite... =) And yea, until i have nothing better to say... this blog will stay alive... ahahha.
Calvism: [see above comment] well my battle is with my daemons and so far *fingers crossed* i've got the upper hand =) Cheers for the positive vibe.
Post a Comment