Sometimes i wish i was trained as a ballerina, not because i want to wear a tutu or expose myself in a leotard that acts like a second skin. Or worse, get deformed feet from balancing all my weight on the tips of my fat toes. But for the sole purpose that my posture wouldn't resemble the initial stage of a hump back.
It's not like my bust contributes to half my weight whereby gravity forcefully finds a way to pull me forward. It's not like i'm towering over anyone [except for those adolescents that have yet to hit puberty] that i have to bend lower so i don't stand out like a sore thumb.
There's no reason why i shouldn't stand up straight when i'm waiting in line to go to the loo or anywhere for that matter. And there's no reason why i shouldn't sit up straight like how teens are forced to buy their first bra at a department store whilst a middle aged woman whips out a measuring tape and announces to your mother in the next section that its better to go one cup size smaller.
And ignoring all those times i was told to sit up straight at the dining table when i would rather crumble and slouch. Positioned like a fisherman, tucking one leg under my [then] boney arse and bending my other leg so my foot would rest on the seat.
But now i spend most of my waking hours in front of a screen that projects radiation that does so much as give me a headache when i have my contacts on. Then by mid day finding myself half way down my chair to allow an oversized invisible Garfield to curl up behind my back.
And as a result of my ignorance and Chrissie knows best moments, i have developed this dull lower back pain. And if it weren't so morbid or gruesome i would grab the nearest cutting blade and slice the chunk of pain out instantly like how Tetris blocks miraculously clears the way when you get the right colours matched. If only it were so simple.
But much to my disappointment, as with most things that are unrealistic, i am forced to attach a self adhesive pain relief patch to my lower back. And like a walking air freshner i leave a trail that smells like the old camphor wood chest that my folks have at home. And prior to ripping open the box, i am forewarned that i should "avoid direct application INTO the nostrils"... Uhhhhh yea!
So here i am waiting patiently for this concoction of ingredients to do its magic. But in the mean time i shall continue to read about Posture for a Healthy Back.
It's not like my bust contributes to half my weight whereby gravity forcefully finds a way to pull me forward. It's not like i'm towering over anyone [except for those adolescents that have yet to hit puberty] that i have to bend lower so i don't stand out like a sore thumb.
There's no reason why i shouldn't stand up straight when i'm waiting in line to go to the loo or anywhere for that matter. And there's no reason why i shouldn't sit up straight like how teens are forced to buy their first bra at a department store whilst a middle aged woman whips out a measuring tape and announces to your mother in the next section that its better to go one cup size smaller.
And ignoring all those times i was told to sit up straight at the dining table when i would rather crumble and slouch. Positioned like a fisherman, tucking one leg under my [then] boney arse and bending my other leg so my foot would rest on the seat.
But now i spend most of my waking hours in front of a screen that projects radiation that does so much as give me a headache when i have my contacts on. Then by mid day finding myself half way down my chair to allow an oversized invisible Garfield to curl up behind my back.
And as a result of my ignorance and Chrissie knows best moments, i have developed this dull lower back pain. And if it weren't so morbid or gruesome i would grab the nearest cutting blade and slice the chunk of pain out instantly like how Tetris blocks miraculously clears the way when you get the right colours matched. If only it were so simple.
But much to my disappointment, as with most things that are unrealistic, i am forced to attach a self adhesive pain relief patch to my lower back. And like a walking air freshner i leave a trail that smells like the old camphor wood chest that my folks have at home. And prior to ripping open the box, i am forewarned that i should "avoid direct application INTO the nostrils"... Uhhhhh yea!
So here i am waiting patiently for this concoction of ingredients to do its magic. But in the mean time i shall continue to read about Posture for a Healthy Back.
2 comments:
DO IT!!!! PUT IT IN YOUR NOSTRILSSSSSSSSS
ROFL I laughed soooo fucking hard when I read that....zomg.
It's like that time I rubbed Vicks all over some baby's face :o\
uhhhhh... how about... nooOOoooo thank you!
I've stopped listening to you after you scarred my foot, shoved a pearl up my nose and smacked me in the lip with that racket trying to play Indiana Jones in the garden. Evillllllll =p
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