For the longest time i sported the same hairstyle. Hair that extended straight down and rested just along my waistline. And if it grew past that marker it usually meant that i was lazy and hadn't gone for a trim for quite sometime. But i only trimmed my hair twice a year and the longest it had gotten to was just past my hips.
And should my name be forgotten, the description was usually spot on as it was rare to see short, asian wannabe rapunzel's running around.
"You know, that asian girl. She's short and has really long black hair"
"ooOOooooh... her! Yea i know her but i can't remember her name."
Having dyed it various colours ranging from tamarin monkey to deep purple to jet black. Rarely having to brush it as my hair was so dead straight that somehow if fell into place. So straight that often people thought i kept rebonding it.
And going through my rebellious stage, i wanted to shave all my hair off. But the hairstylist convinced me to cut it to a bob and take it from there. Which was probably a better choice as my coconut sized head would only be emphasised.
When that eventually grew out after a few years, it was back to the girl with the long hair. I had gotten used to the length and the extra warmth on a winter day was definitely to my advantage.
But when i returned to Malaysia, the humidity and the continuous late nights did effect its' look. The glossy, well kept sheen had suddenly disappeared. The added stress of work and fact that my partner had decided that 'we' weren't working out but sooner than later, was told he had in fact found someone else was a legit reason for me to grab my rapunzel hair and create a slipknot noose.
Suddenly my body was going through a downward spiral, everything i had hoped and dreamed for suddenly crumbled. Eventually i started losing huge chunks of hair in patches the size of 50 sen coins, mostly due to the stress. My health just went haywire.
My vanity and self esteem suddenly disappeared. I hadn't felt so out of place and unwanted, my only option was to go under the knife. And no i don't mean plastic surgery, i'm talking about those shearing knives used to create layers to give ones' hair style that whispy look.
I hid behind my work to the brink of exhaustion, drank too much hoping that it would numb my reality and to top it off live off meds to control the depression. And with every bad thing that happened or feelings of self hatred, my hair kept getting shorter and shorter.
Subconsciously, wishing that my hair was an extension of me and if i cut it off, it would mean i didn't have to worry anymore. So between 2004 til now, you will notice that my hair had gone through various stages. And at one point, contemplating whether i could pull off a human hair skull cap. Which i ended up not doing as i remembered the unevenness and coconut skull.
But lately i've been missing the feminine locks and the option to style it to create another look. Envious of girls with luscious hair and being able to smell the scent of my shampoo infused in the strands. My mission is to grow it out once again. Only problem is having to go through the yucky 'in-between stage' where no amount of product will keep it in place. My hair will have to suffer by being held in place with half a dozen of bobby pins and clips so it looks somewhat neat.
In the meantime, i can play around with Makeover-O-Matic at Makeover Central at iVillage.com where i can create a variety of styles and looks ranging from Drag Queen contestant to the solemn librarian.
And should my name be forgotten, the description was usually spot on as it was rare to see short, asian wannabe rapunzel's running around.
"You know, that asian girl. She's short and has really long black hair"
"ooOOooooh... her! Yea i know her but i can't remember her name."
Having dyed it various colours ranging from tamarin monkey to deep purple to jet black. Rarely having to brush it as my hair was so dead straight that somehow if fell into place. So straight that often people thought i kept rebonding it.
And going through my rebellious stage, i wanted to shave all my hair off. But the hairstylist convinced me to cut it to a bob and take it from there. Which was probably a better choice as my coconut sized head would only be emphasised.
When that eventually grew out after a few years, it was back to the girl with the long hair. I had gotten used to the length and the extra warmth on a winter day was definitely to my advantage.
But when i returned to Malaysia, the humidity and the continuous late nights did effect its' look. The glossy, well kept sheen had suddenly disappeared. The added stress of work and fact that my partner had decided that 'we' weren't working out but sooner than later, was told he had in fact found someone else was a legit reason for me to grab my rapunzel hair and create a slipknot noose.
Suddenly my body was going through a downward spiral, everything i had hoped and dreamed for suddenly crumbled. Eventually i started losing huge chunks of hair in patches the size of 50 sen coins, mostly due to the stress. My health just went haywire.
My vanity and self esteem suddenly disappeared. I hadn't felt so out of place and unwanted, my only option was to go under the knife. And no i don't mean plastic surgery, i'm talking about those shearing knives used to create layers to give ones' hair style that whispy look.
I hid behind my work to the brink of exhaustion, drank too much hoping that it would numb my reality and to top it off live off meds to control the depression. And with every bad thing that happened or feelings of self hatred, my hair kept getting shorter and shorter.
Subconsciously, wishing that my hair was an extension of me and if i cut it off, it would mean i didn't have to worry anymore. So between 2004 til now, you will notice that my hair had gone through various stages. And at one point, contemplating whether i could pull off a human hair skull cap. Which i ended up not doing as i remembered the unevenness and coconut skull.
But lately i've been missing the feminine locks and the option to style it to create another look. Envious of girls with luscious hair and being able to smell the scent of my shampoo infused in the strands. My mission is to grow it out once again. Only problem is having to go through the yucky 'in-between stage' where no amount of product will keep it in place. My hair will have to suffer by being held in place with half a dozen of bobby pins and clips so it looks somewhat neat.
In the meantime, i can play around with Makeover-O-Matic at Makeover Central at iVillage.com where i can create a variety of styles and looks ranging from Drag Queen contestant to the solemn librarian.
No comments:
Post a Comment