HIS 28th...

Oh and prior to me passing out, for days i debated with myself whether or not i should contact my ex. I've avoided all forms of contact with him in the past couple of months, just because mentally i don't think i'm strong enough yet.

But anyway, he's 28 years old today.

So rounding up enough guts, i do the unthinkable and nervously type out the following...

I wasn't sure whether i should or not but i admit as much as i try to forget, i do miss u. To my best friend and always with love... happy birthday markie.. xox.

At 6.48am and 34 seconds, i receive a text...

Hey Chris, thank u so much for ur birthday wishes. Was wondering if i would hear from u.. I hope u are well. It's really good t hear from u. Miss u too.

Hell, he was my confidant, past lover and partner for 8 years. And we've been friends for 11... he'll always be a huge part of my life no matter how i look at it. And will always be my best friend. But you know what... those few typed out words meant the world to me. He's happy and i am glad. I guess it just took 8 years with me to figure out what true happiness is for him.

But i know SHE brings him happiness [one reason why he left me for her] and i'm certain they're celebrating right now either at some fancy dinner or whisked away at some luxurious destination. I will never be like her [as fucked up as i am at times, i quite like being ME]. I may not have as much money as both of them or their family. I would never "fit" in his world, so they're better off together. And what has become of us, is meant to be.

If i'm not mistaken, i believe they recently celebrated their 2nd year anniversary... i don't know and i try not to think about it.

Deep inside, there is a pinch of love and i think of him every day, not because i have feelings for him still but just because i wonder how he is. I know deep inside we still care for one another.