Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Super gay!

There are many benefits to sporting a short hair do A) Less drying time B) Consumption of shampoo and conditioner [if any] is reduced C) price of hair colour is much less etc. But with such benefits comes the hassles A) One must maintain the style by visiting ones' hairdresser regularly for trims B) Waking up with hair that has temporarily shaped itself into a mohawk C) Going through that 'in between' stage of neither short nor long.

So in a spontaneous mood i decided to get my hair cut. Dragged along Madame CocoLatté aka MissSeniorPisces since she wanted to watch a movie later.

And a quick pick-me-upper usually involves going under the scissors. Which probably explains the dramatic hairstyle change right after my ex officially dumped me for some other woman. I did the whole dramatic i-am-cutting-my-meter-plus-long-straight hair off just so i can cut away what was my past. [Let me tell you, my hair has gotten shorter and shorter in the last year unfortunately memories last longer].

So anyway, the humidity and the built up of clay that found residency on my strands was in desperate need of a touch up. So i hopped along to Inspiration Alan in Bangsar [same salon that cut my previous cut which originally looked like a mullet but i later got them to redo]. And was put in the hands of another senior stylist.

My first bit of instruction was... i do NOT want a mullet [long at the back and short on top]. Fine. So trusting this stranger with sharp scissors and me being in a i-cannot-be-fuct mode, i let him be creative. His answer was, "don't worry i won't make your hair look bad, i can tell by your style that you're creative..."

[And can i just say that to any of my readers who are in fact lesbians, please do not take any offence for what i am about to say:]

...and by "CREATIVE" i did not mean i want to look like a dyke. I may dress like a tom boi but i am certainly not butch or a full blown lesbian. I should be so lucky to even get individuals of the opposite sex looking in my direction let alone species of the same gender. And unless i am wrong but i am certain that the style he created is very much a Dyke haircut.

So Madame CocoLatté, myself and my dyke haircut ended up at Sushi King for dinner since we had an hour to kill before the movie started. And i'm not much of a film critic but let me just tell you that if there is one movie that goes beyond words, it's My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

Ok, the name in itself already hints it has to be a girly flick. And yes ladies, we've all been THE ex-girlfriend and for many we've seen the green eyed monster comes out to play once and awhile. And yes perhaps in our fits of anger and rejection, we might blurt out hurtful words like...
"oh what a bitch!? She stole my boyfriend... KILL KILL KILL".
When clearly, it takes two to tango and one would rather injure the 3rd party than the partner you were recently obsessed with.

Or maybe you've heard yourself say...
"...she's so beautiful, she makes me sick! I wish she was dead!"
Admit it, being the ex-girlfriend and having your heart broken can feel like you've just been stabbed in the back and had dozens of red ants poured over your open wound. The thought of seeing such a match made in heaven brings tears to your eyes and you would rather see their happiness bundled in a body bag than to live through the pain. And unless you have a psychotic streak in you and people would describe your attitude as Obsessive and deranged, the chances of doing 'real' harm is far from reality.

But going back to the movie, this script takes the whole ex-girlfriend to a SUPER new level!

I understand some movies may have a cheese factor involved. And by cheese i don't mean pornographic whizz off load. But this movie screams CHEESY to the max. I wonder what Uma Thurman [leading actress in Kill Bill] was thinking when she read the script. I can deal with Superman and Spiderman but to introduce G-Girl into the super hero picture, just doesn't cut it for me.

"G-Girl". What a lame arse excuse for a name for an arse kicking obsessive neurotic ex-girlfriend who has super powers from a fallen meteorite! And another thing, i wonder who G-Girls' stylist was and who he/she slept with because it is obvious that he/she needs to go back to fashion school. Enough said.

But honestly, unless you're into the whole combo package that involves a female super hero flying all over the city flashing her undies to the civilians down below just to save the city from a missile. And maybe you find it funny that this superwoman is able to break her boyfriends' bed and crack the plaster off the wall with the bed post whilst grinding in the missionary position... [i wonder why the audience found that part funny]. And if all that excites you, what better way to top it off but to add bad slapstick comedy into the mix.

Oh and for your information, according to Wikipedia it states... "The film has been viewed as a financial disaster according to Box Office Mojo, as the film took in a mere $8.6 million on its opening weekend and has made $21,408,693 domestically, and $25,425,750 worldwide as of August 13, 2006."

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